Sun.01.Jul: 9.19 Well hold me turned round and fuck me side-ways, another fucking month... and... here I am, here they are, here it goes. Shit! - 27° and the humidex is 39°. I didn't get to sleep until the clock radio on the table read 4.00-something which means it was late after 3.00. And this morning, I simply woke from a perfect sleep... only just moments ago. I didn't even hear the alarms. So, like it or not, sleep now depends on vodka before bed... in copious quantities, as Tommy Burke would say. Perhaps 6 hours isn't very much sleep, but it's rather sufficient and since I woke of my own, I suppose it's what was necessary. What-ever the cause or case, it's fine. - Just noticed on the météo site, a photo of a day lilly... from St-Constant... cuter yet because NONE of the lilies here are any-where near blooming. I wonder why... Never mind. - And so, highest heart of 33 at 15.00 with more “orages” tonight. Last night's were quite beautiful. Brief, but for a while the rain fell hard and steady! Thunder, lightning. It would have been a delight to watch. Unfortunately, I'm stuck behind this fucking shitty door. Alas. But... only for now. - Which reminds me, I've got to get me together to get the adhesive this morning, Shame, really, it's going to be humid. And there's one glue that needs 24 hours to cure. I was rather hoping to get smokes today... and not the U.S. any more. It seems the Camels are the cause of my congestion. I've been smoking the old packs (which are almost gone now) and the congestion isn't so bad. So I'll be switching to Players or something now. Camels need to go. And so do I, indeed, but not in a gurgling puddle of phlegm, thanks. - So, 9.34, I'd like to get out for my smoke, I'll have to have a shit sooner or later, the old qunt will be toddling about... (and the kitchen door opens on the porch and she's put the cat out, no doubt). She's supposed to be going to church... weekly show, Jesus and all that, and then off to Lowell and her Yogi. She's also supposed to be bringing cucumber plants to her Yogi (with whom she'll be rolling about New England next week, peddling the very Jesus with whom she'll commune this morning). But I don't see her making any efforts toward any of that. Anyway... time for clothing... in this heat. May as well get on with the day. - If I get stopped by the “authorities” for the missing mirror, I'll KNOW, immediately, why though. Wouldn't put it past the old thing to get on the horn and give them my route and all. We'll see. - 11.08 Seems, when I heard the kitchen door squeak, she left for Jesus. Hallie's in the kitchen. Mimou is some-where in the house. The sky is grey and the air weighs on the chest like a lead vest. It's not just oppressive, it's suppressive, and generally horrific! But... there are chores to be done and I may as well just tally (or is it “sallly”?) forth and see what gets done. The humidity doesn't make for good repairing today. But the first thing that needs to be done? Get the bloody adhesive. And so, with that said... on go the socks and shoes and out the door I go. (I'm imagining Mme. will return after communing, grab her little dog and head out to the mountains. Toodle-loo.) - 15.40 OK. So I was out of here by about 11.00 and noticed that the old thing's truck was back in the drive as I left. BFD. Headed straight for Walmart in the FUCKING HEAT! IT'S MISERABLE OUT THERE TODAY!!! 33°/45 BUT IT FEELS LIKE 133/145! HUMIDITY IS 40%? MORE LIKE 75. BUT ANYWAY... Got to Walmart and yes, I took my time looking and, of course, NOT finding what I wanted. So I got a tube of “JB” because it was the brand I saw on-line (though somebody said don't use it because epoxy contracts/expands at a different rate than glass but... I figured I'd give it a try). Walked about, looking and not finding until... I went and got a bag of dry food - 8$ - for Mimou, since qunta surely won't bother, she'd rather get Hallie all kinds of special foods and toys and the likes. I swear she doesn't like the cat because he likes me. I swear. But it's a pleasure to buy for him. It truly is. Got a pack of smokes whilst there too. (Planning on getting Players or something, perhaps tomorrow. But no more Camels.) And decided I'd drop into Aubochons, since they're right next to the Mobil and I wanted to fill the tank, at the very least. Well... walked into Aubochons, some ditz walked me to the “adhesives” and then walked away, leaving me there alone. There must have been about 5 sales idiots in the place and suddenly... there were none. And no, they didn't have the 3M nor the Loctite I'd asked for. SO? INTO town to Ace where I got a tube of some Loctite ProLine shit, “premium construction adhesive”. Polyurethane formula... they say. I figured it glues wood, metal, drywall, stone, concrete, &c. so if nothing else works, I'll try it too. Back into the truck to... McDonalds for an 8$ 20-piece McFukkitz and a small choco shake. That's going to be today's “meal”. I sat in the truck and ate. From there, to Mobil for 20$ into the tank and yes... AT LAST... it's just about FULL!!! I'm quite happy about THAT bit. (But still no rear-view mirror.) Up the road and to Tractor Supply... VERY nice folks there. EVERY cute little feller from Tennessee (wifie's from Montreal, so he tells). And I browsed. Got a tube of Gorilla Glue epoxy. So now there's THREE kinds of adhesive! ONE of them MUST work... I should think, but... I browsed a bit because it was cooler in there and then... back to this shit-hole to find poor little Mimou on the porch... the door un-locked... and an empty house. Good for me! I got right to work on the re-mount of the mirror using the Gorilla glue. That one claims to set in 5 minutes and hold after 30. I'm leaving it for a few hours. No rush. I've no place to be today.... and I NEED a nap! - Toddled to the store for a bottle of tonic and a bag of crisps for tonight and I'm wasted! The little fan is on the floor here, circulating the cooler air from down there. No sense opening anything. It'll just let in the heat. - I should go find Mimou and let him in. It's SO fucking miserably HOT out there. - Can't help but recall the qunt's comment last night about not running the fan in her room too often. “I don't want to use too much of the electricity.” WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT! MEANWHILE... those Twats up-stairs had the air conditioner running when the evenings were all of 15°! She just makes me ill... physically. - Never mind. Time to “settle and rest”. There's NOTHING that can be done on a day like this. - OH! BY THE BY: LAST NIGHT'S STORM TOOK A LIMB DOWN ON THE LARGEST BOX ALDER OUT BACK AT THE BARN BY THE GARDEN WHERE THE OLD “COMPOST” HEAP USED TO BE. DAMNED GOOD FOR Mme.Q THAT NOTHING HIT ***MY*** TRUCK. - 21.05 and the “button” for the mirror appears to be solid. I had to go close the windows on the truck so I lightly checked. Hopefully by tomorrow, the epoxy will have cured and will hold stead-fast. We shall see. I finished with it by about 14.15. Over-night should be OK. - Mme. came rolling in at about 17.30. Didn't say shit. Hallie came into the room. I got up and closed the door. Fuck that shit. I'd JUST come in from the store (again). I was hungry so went for a tub of cottage cheese and a bottle of sports drink. “Meal”. I'd NO sooner sat down at the table, opened the container and THERE SHE WAS. I wanted to eat in some semblance of peace... so the door got closed. And that was that. - And then put on the radio shows I'd down-loaded and took a nap. Didn't sleep though. Just laid on the bed. It probably won't help with “rest” but... - When I went out to the truck just now, the kitchen door flew open and out came Mimou. I'll guess he was his usual vociferous self and she just tossed him. Fucking qunt, that one. Nasty, evil, shit-bag of trash. - OH! Almost forgot to mention: I think it was about 16.00 or so, I hear some broad in the kitchen calling for “Jacquie!” She just walked right into the house! THIS house? OH NO! I wasn't at all pleasant when she asked if the qunt was home and I said “No. She's away.” The fucking old thing... probably saw the truck in the yard and didn't bother to notice it's not “Madame's”. Dumb fux, this lot. So I locked the kitchen door for the rest of the day. Gee... Mme. had to use her key to get in. Poor shit. - Well... I have to put up with her for the day tomorrow and then we get to settle. How lovely. And next week? She'll be gone for most of it. HURRAY! (I wish I had the money to get a flat... I'd take it, fill the truck and be off and away.) - But right now, I have to wait for the old shit to go to bed... I need a shower, and as I said to her last evening, I wait for her to go to bed before doing so, so as not to interfere. QUNT! - 22.26 SHOWERED AT LAST! AND... SHE WENT TO BED AND LEFT MIMOU OUT-SIDE! HYPOCRITE QUNT! “I don't want him out at night.” Only because “I spent 500$ on that cat.” Yeah... Christian bitch. - So showered, v-ton poured, crisps at bed-side, and I'm in full sweat again already. Time to wrap this day up and close it.

Mon.02.Jul: 8.20 sun shining, and still hot as all Hell. But, I did get me into bed at 0.52 this morning (as the temperature in the room rose to 29° and I had the door open for fresh air) so it's not a bad night's sleep... no spasms, and I slept atop the covers. Now, if I can get the mirror on the truck this morning, THAT would be delightful. I could get up to Canadian Tire for the paint for the truck and some smokes, at the very least. AND... added bonus, it would put a very nice distance between the hypocrite and myself making life all the more pleasant for the both of us, to be sure. So I'm hoping. - 9.18 Soc,med. and such done and the heat just keeps getting hotter. So? No hope of a shower until after... may as well get me together and... hope the stores in Cowansville are open. - 9.39 Seems the Gorilla glue has taken. The mirror is on the “button” now. I'm waiting to see if it really does hold. - Mme. is in the garden, doing something. Hallie came to me when I went to the truck. No sign of Mimou. - It's MISERABLY HOT OUT THERE already! - I'm having my second coffee before going out to try to repair the tear in the front seat. (I don't want any holes... when I “cross the border”. I'll be crossing at Freligsburg and that's where, on my last solo crossing, I got held for 55 minutes. I've NO doubt they'll look at a hole in the seat and want to tear the entire seat apart... I might be smuggling Mexicans or the likes.) If all goes well enough... Cowansville! - Truth is, I'm already nauseated by the heat this morning... from only mere moments out there. I can't help but think of how, for so many years, I kept believing that, when my tolerance of heat diminished, I could always head “North”. So much for THAT theory. Maybe I should start seriously thinking: “Nunavut”. - 12.00 Mirror on. Upholstery repaired. Civil discourse with Mme. who asked that I move the truck because she's got shit she wants to put into her truck to bring to work. (If I can handle this heat, I'll be on the road in a bit anyway... fuck her and that.) But I just have to get me together enough to tolerate the heat in the truck on the road to Cowansville. - Oh and yeah... she says, says she, that she let the cat out last night because she just couldn't stand the meowing. Oh yes? You mean like I can't stand the fucking barking of Hallie for no reason? “Christian”... typical. - Anyway... I'll be off soon... on the road, hopefully with a properly situated rear-vew for the duration. - IT'S TOO BLOODY HOT!!! - 17.04 I'm back and she's gone and the paint's been bought along with 4 packs of smokes and... to-date, my total investment in the truck:
1359,95CAD - 1031,13USD
GRAND TOTAL TO-DATE: 2995,00 + 1031,13 = 4026,13USD
The “Book Value” of the vehicle as it was: 4450-something. By the time I get done with the work on it... Anyway, I made the trip to Cowansville and back, no trouble there, and coming back, of course, the doo-diddler feller had to check the back... good thing I put the new handle on! And so, I roll in. Mme.'s gathering shit to bring to “the house” for “the garden” (4 tomato cages & a bucket of shit), she didn't even know I'd gone for the few hours I was away. And, I calc. the distance at about 21mi., time, one-way, about 30 minutes (provided I'm not “delayed”). So it's about almost pretty much the very same as Walmart in St-Albans. From now on? Walmart... Cowansville. I actually save money that way... even in gas. - And it's still miserably HOT. And I still have to figure something to eat. And I still need to wash clothes and shower. And I'M HERE ALONE UNTIL WEDNESDAY!!! (That could be good... or it could be bad... either way... what-ever.) - (PS: The mirror is still on the window. Yay. Shshshsh...) -
22.16 and thank goodness for battery power. JUST SHORTLY AFTER 21.00, AS I WAS PONDERING MY SHOWER (WHICH I'VE TAKEN... BUT FOR NO PARTICULARLY GOOD REASON, AS I'M SITTING HERE, BY CANDLE LIGHT, DRENCHED IN SWEAT... IN CLEAN JAMMIES), THE HOUSE AND TOWN WENT DARK!!! THE STORM OF EARLIER, WHICH HAD WINDS STRONG ENOUGH TO OPEN AND SLAM CLOSE, THE WINDOWS ON THE PORCH, WAS LONG-AGO GONE. IT HAPPENED FROM ABOUT 19.30-19.45, TORRENTIAL RAINS, HIGH GUSTS AND GONE. ANYWAY... THE STORM OVER, WE ALL WENT FOR OUR STROLL AND CAME IN TO HAVE SNACKS AND WATCH A BIT OF TV. HALLIE WAS ENJOYING A CHEST-SCRATCHING, MIMOU WAS BEING A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ARSE WITH THE WHINING, AND POUF! LIGHTS OUT! IT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH BEING IN THIS SHIT-HOLE BORDELLO OF A FUCK-UP ALONE WITH THE TWATS ABOVE, BUT BEING ALONE IN THIS SHIT-PIT AND *ALONE*, WITH ALL THE FUCKING NONSENSE THAT HAPPENS IN HERE? IT'S NERVE-WRACKING TO SAY THE VERY LEAST. (NOT TO MENTION, I'D JUST BROUGH THE LARGE FAN DOWN TO COOL THE FUCKING PLACE, SINCE THE QUNT WOULDN'T DO IT... WON'T USE THE ELECTRIC... SO THE FUCKERS ABOVE CAN RUN THE FUCKING AIR-CONDITIONING IN APRIL... MORON). ANYWAY, I DON'T LIKE BEING IN HERE LIKE THIS, AND THE HEAT IS BECOMING INTOLERABLE. THE SKY ABOVE IS RATHER CLEAR, BUT THERE ARE FLASHES OF LIGHTNING FROM THE DISTANCE. WORSE? I'D PUT SODA IN THE FRIDGE FOR TONIGHT'S TELE, I THOUGHT I'D HAVE THE FRANKS I'D COOKED FOR HALLIE AS MUNCHIES. THE FRIDGE IS OFF, OF COURSE. HOPEFULLY THE SODA GOT A BIT OF A “CHILL” BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A DRINK!!! NO TELLING HOW LONG WE'LL BE LIKE THIS. - THERE'S A CAR PARKED BESIDE THE POST OFFICE THOUGH. FRIGHTENED ME AT FIRST BUT THEN I REALISED: THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED AND WITH NO ELECTRIC, THERE'S NO ALARM!!!! I WONDER WHO GOT SHOVED INTO THE JOB OF SITTING THERE ON “GUARD DUTY”. I'M THINKING I COULD STROLL OVER AND SEE IF WHOM-SO-EVER IS IN THE VEHICLE HAS ANY IDEA AS TO THE DURATION OF THIS SHIT TONIGHT. I JUST MIGHT. IF IT'S RACHEL, WE COULD HAVE A NICE CHAT... ABOUT A DRINK OF VODKA AND HER FAT ARSE HAVING BUSTED THE FURNISHINGS HERE, ONCE UPON A SUMMER. WHAT-EVER... BUT FOR NOW...I'VE GOT 2 CANDLES IN THE ROOM AND 2 IN THE KITCHEN. HALLIE AND MIMOU ARE ON THE BED-ROOM FLOOR IN THE FRONT, IN THE DARK. “GREAT PROTECTION”, THEM THERE. - MEANWHILE....
“Meal” was the left-over rice with mayo and Italian dressing, a slice of the “rhubarb pie” after. It doesn't taste too bad. It's passable. - And I went through the papers I'd found in the truck... Corey bought it in June 2017! The “book value” was about 1k LESS than I got taxed on! Leave it to Vermont... fucking idiots. ALSO, HE'D ONLY JUST BOUGHT “REAR-VEW MIRROR ADHESIVE” ON 20 JUNE '18! SO HE MUST HAVE SLAPPED THE DAMNED THING ON FOR THE SALE. NOW... I WONDER WHAT OTHER REASONS HE HAD TO SELL. I'll find out soon enough... I've no doubt. - Other than that... and the black-out, there's nothing much to jot. Oddly, just last night I was thinking that I should down-load some episodes of “QI”, “Not Going Out”, “Jeeves and Wooster” and such to watch off-line... had I done, I'd have a “regular” night right about now... save the fact that there's no fan running. Oh well. 20/20 hind-sight... and my laziness. - Well, at least I had my shower and the air is moving only slightly but just enough to be acknowledged. I think I'll toddle across the road, inquire as to the duration of this shit and then come back for my drink. No sense letting things interfere. - Note: I didn't mind this sort of thing when it happened in Roosa Gap or New Prospect, but here... HERE... it's just a fuck with a live cattle prod.

Tue.03.Jul: 0.13 and the lights are back on. Just spent about 90 minutes chatting with the young, new tenant who lives up-stairs behind the post office. I THOUGHT it might have been somebody guarding but nope... he was hanging out-side, waiting for the lights to come back on... which they did... about 20 minutes ago. Nice young fella, from Enosburgh. His father is maintenance at the school here. I told him ALL I know about this place. He'd been “warned” before he moved in... his father told him. He's here about 3 months or so now, but was there when the nasty folks were in residence... the ones with the foul-mouthed little shit-bitch. AND... he got dragged into their domestic violence as well. SO? So... we had WONDERFUL chat-time to while away the darkness. - Now... the last of my washing is in the washer. I've a v-ginger (tastes terrible). The little ones have had a little “snack” and I'm getting ready to proceed to my “normal” affairs for the night. The fans are back on. The house is still hot and humid but the night has cooled only just a little. So? So... SHIT! - 9.19 It was 2.35 when I finally put the lights out... and 8.05 when I got out of bed to feed the brood. And now, I've had MY morning “routine” and am feeling a bit like shit on this still-coolish, sunny morn. (No wonder: only but about 5 hours' sleep. And I've been thinking it was the drinks. Nay. 'tis lack of proper rest.) One of these days (though I doubt it), I'll be able to get a full-night's sleep and wake when the necessary rest is complete. HAH! I say. HAH! - 10.25 Took a 45 minute snooze. Time for 2nd coffee and I'm going out to the barn... to sort through the wrenches and such. What I don't need can be sold, after all. And, the task will keep me occupied and “accomplishing”... I suppose. - Still not feeling “all too well” though. But then... a “typical” day. And it's getting warmer too. No break until the rest of the week and then? Back to this. What happened to the “cooler” North? - 21.49 “Accomplishments”? Well... that table in the barn is rather cleared. Not “cleaned” but cleared up... a bit... a touch. And I've got all the wrenches, socket and others, on the porch, waiting to be sorted and the likes! (I'll have to find a box or some kind of “storage” for them and a place to HIDE them from the twat.) And, I got that felled tree cut up and stacked in the back by the fence. And, I trimmed the fucking crab apple out front and the lilacs in the back so mowing will be a zip-zip about the grounds next time. - “Meal”: chicken patties on rolls x3. Ice cream. And right now, I'm actually almost too fucking tired to shower! But I must... indeed, I MUST. I don't know that I'll have a drink tonight... or tele. I'm just so TIRED! Hopefully it's just the heat. - Hoping, perhaps, tomorrow, to get the tailgate painted a bit more on the “silver” of the rest of the truck. I'll have to wait til next week for the “over-haul” at Integrity. - GREAT NEWS THOUGH... LAST WEDNESDAY'S SOC.SEC. IS EN ROUTE TO THE BANQUE! HURRAY! (Tomorrow, US banques are closed by mine will be open... for all the good it does me.) - It's rather nice, not having to worry about getting into town for food or vodka any more. Mme.Q. will return on Thursday (at some point in time), be here until Monday and then gone! And I don't have to beg for the transport and listen to all the bull-shit about “going to...” (as she stated about Sunday, I believe... when she's taking Hallie to “the shrine” and then actually had the audacity to mention going to the “cajun” resto in Lowell... ME? HELL TO THE NO!). - I MUST shower... NOW... before it gets later and I get more exhuasted. - 22.28 Shower done. How wonderful, to take my time, lather twice and all... being the only one in the house. OH! For the days when that's the fact again!

Wed.04.Jul: 9.00 on the nose. - At 1.22, after 3 episodes of AbFab, 2 v-tons and the fucking fourth of fucking Ju-fuckig-ly, it was “lights out”, and at 8.06 it was “get up, pee, gulp coffee, serve breakfast to the little ones and toddle to the loo for a while. Another sunny day, delightful(?) and nauseated, tired, fatigued, typical. I want to go back to bed, to sleep. But there are little items on my “list” that I SHOULD get to today... none of which I've the energy to do. Tailgate on the truck; tyres on the Subaru; paint the door, letters to print, work on the radio in the truck... stuff. I'm tired. And I've got no interest in much of anything at all. Oh... had to re-fill a tooth too, this morning. Delightful. And other-wise? I want to go back to sleep. The temperatures will be (they claim), in the upper 20s... Humidex in the 30s again. More “chaleur”. I'm sick of the “chaleur”. A hair-cut would be nice. I don't have the interest. Can't decide on clothes: work or just clothes. Nope... Yep... just another “typical” day. Just another... - 9.11 At least the soc.sec. is in the banque... posted yesterday. Not that it makes a lot of difference at exchange. But it's there, and we're back up to 2kCAD. That's a bit of a comfort. - 18.39 SO... the wrenches are sorted and put in little boxes which are put into larger boxes which are put into a larger box and all are “out of the way”... out of sight... out of mind... (I've no idea where they could have gone to... Goodness me.) And I found an old wooden box, with lid and handles, in the barn with some German print painted on it. There was a croquet set of sorts in it. The box got a quick hosing and is now in the barn... in one of the smaller rooms, drying. Soon to be mine for what-ever reason (or sale?). *** AND... I GOT THE IMPORTANT LETTERS TO ATTORNEYS GENERAL AND BANQUES AND SUCH PRINTED... EVEN THE ENVELOPES!!! READY TO BE SENT OUT TOMORROW! EAT SHIT, DIR.EXP. YOU'RE BEING REPORTED. *** (And I got a new lease for 19 Church printed. Now I'll have to get some sort of other document. Next week... license renewal.) - Not much more done. But I've learnt that none of the paint I bought at Canadian Tire matches the truck, so tomorrow, I'm off to Chevy dealers (along with bottle returns and a purchase of more “spirits”). I need to find the right colour before sanding or such. And I'll get the mesh too. This heat-wave is supposed to break on the week-end so, next week, hopefully, there'll be work done. In addition to the “check” that I have to schedule with Mike. - There was garbage pick-up today and I happened to be out there when they came by... just in time! - As for much else... nothing. Still just too fucking hot and... the fact that I just don't give a fucking shit about this place. - I was on the recliner, almost dozing, when, at about 14.30, I heard... ***BANG*** ON THE CEILING AND THE LIGHT FIXTURE CLANKED. THE TWATS HAVE RETURNED. The place has been too quiet though. No doubt... there's going to be HELL tonight. Well? Yes... if I can muster some energy, I'll be sure to make my own. In any event, I'll Hoover the room once, maybe the house. As for mopping? Perhaps tomorrow morning. Perhaps not at all. - Curtis left a bill for Mme. for the quick trim along the fence... 20$. Imagine. One fence, 20$. I mow the entire yard, trimming close to fences and shit and I get 25$... AND A PISSY REMINDER OF BEING “PAID” FOR THE WORK. FUCKING 25$? YEAH? OK! Guess what. I won't be working on your fucking porch windows, and when (if) asked why not (Mark), I'll be sure to tell. You won't pay. You're paying HIM. Let HIM do the work. (Which reminds: Rick left a fucking mess in the room up-stairs. I'm not cleaning that either.) - And so... the sun is setting, but none too quickly, and it will be time for evening stroll and the end of this day. The back of the house is now sweltering. Oh well... The day is done, the holiday is done, my deposit is in my account, I've inherited a nice collection of wrenches (for me or for sale)... and that's that. - 21.52 SHOWERED! CLOTHES IN THE WASH. And a delightfully refreshing shower too. If there's no hot water, I don't give a shit. - The critters are in the bed-room. Poor little things, no fan. But the air-conditioner up-stairs is running right along... all the windows shut tightly... of course. And me? Just about ready for the sack. The day is done. Tomorrow, Hell returns. But I've got things to do... like returning empties and getting more booze, in particular. And getting the colour of the truck. Then... perhaps, getting the paint... if possible. We shall see. - I laid on the grass with Mimou this evening, by the truck, and had a look. It all looks quite nice under there. I hope there's nothing “un-seen” that will be discovered when it goes in for the “check”. But if it means starving, giving all my soc.sec. to Mike... let it be. I need the truck. - Well... the sweat is returning. At least I've showered. - Let this be a night of good, RESTFUL sleep. (I've a v-ton poured... indeed.)

Thu.05.Jul: 7.37 and it's already oppressive! But the little ones are fed and out, coffee, and such are done. And I'm ready to return to bed! I guess this is what I get for having gone to sleep at 0.25... up early, with the first alarm. I THOUGHT I'd get up, do the floors and such. But I'm sitting here, calmly, and in a sweat. Lovely. And today, there are items on the list of “Millie's TODO” (ah, the days of Chemical, Wall St.... and these days of Shitholia). - Well? It's 26°, Humidex 36°, 79% humidity and on it's way to 33/43. It ain't gonna get better... only worser. I'm nauseous, and would certainly prefer a day in the Atlantic (in so many more ways than simply a swim). - 10.01 by 9.30, the floors where Hoovered, so too, the “path” through the porch, and mopped. The truck is now in the yard, out of her Quntship's way. The stomping above has commenced in earnest. And another day in Shitholia moves forward. Time for 2nd coffee... and a nap! - 11.22 After a 30-min. nap... Letters to AGs, Soc.Sec., Treas.Secy., Comerica are posted! 4,76USD! Well? I try to remember: You have to invest in your-self to make... This is shitty. But maybe somebody will take notice. Maybe. - Meanwhile, it's MISERABLE out there... HOT! - 14.46 Well... it's here. Rolled in about 20 minutes ago. Nothing much to say, nor to be said, nor that I care to hear. - Meanwhile, I got my videos that were posted to the tmblr accounts. Flashbacks of bike rides and the trip through the hills to Maine. Ah... Maine... one of these days, perhaps I'll get to SEE the place. Meanwhile... it's still fucking hot and I'm in no rush to get any-where. - Next Wednesday, the truck goes in to Mike... There's no particular time for the appointment... so I'm either going to be stuck there for the day or I'll be walking there and back. (Mme. will be “away” so... yeah... I'm either going to spend some time at the garage or ...) What-ever. I need to know the condition of the vehicle before I “take to the road”. - But right now, I'm about to hit another nap. I'm hungry and will have to go some-where to get some-thing at some point. I don't WANT to, but... Perhaps a trip to St-A. for KFC? Or Enosburgh for McD? I've got ONE drink in the bottle for tonight. Tomorrow, says Mme., is supposed to be cooler... THEN I'll be out on the road to errands. But for this evening? She'll, no doubt, snooze... and so too, will I! - 16.51 Up from a nap. Back from the store where there's a new, old woman, training for front. Got a half hero (turkey), a box of Little Debbies, bag of crisps for later. Was going to get a bottle of tonic but... damned thing wouldn't scan. Bill was standing right there and HE didn't know how much the damned shit costs so I said I didn't want it. He started to blame the situation on the old gal and I said, “It's not the help... it's management.” and left. - MEANWHILE... THE QUNT PARKED ME INTO THE YARD! INSTEAD OF COMING IN AND PARKING BEFORE THE TURN BY THE PHONE SHED, SHE PARKED *AT* THE SHED. SO, WHEN THE TWAT GETS BACK... I'M BLOCKED INTO THE YARD. WELL THEN... LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO BE REMOVING SOME FENCING IN THE NEAR FUTURE... JUST SO THAT *I* CAN PARK WHERE IT'S CONVENIENT TO ME AND I CAN GET OUT... EVEN IF IT MEANS DRIVING ACROSS THE BACK YARD, THROUGH THE GARDEN. NO PROB. INCONSIDERATION WORKS IN MANY WAYS AND FROM MANY DIRECTIONS AND ASPECTS. AMEN. FUCKING DOLT! As I thought, only just last night (and a while ago as well, to be sure): IF HER KIDS (CHRIS AND LOLA) EVER GO FOR PUTTING HER INTO A HOME.... SHE WON'T HAVE ME TO DEFEND HER ANY MORE... IN FACT, I'LL SIDE WITH HER KIDS. SHE'LL LOSE HER DRIVING PRIVILEGES AND THE HOUSE... AND IT'S OFF TO THE HOME DEARIE. TOODLES. (Perhaps I'll drop the kids a post-card one day... soon.) - And so, the sandwich is quite good for the 4,75. I must remember this. Hopefully it'll be enough to last the night. - And... hopefully I won't have to be bothered by the qunt. - OH! She actually asked if I'd go with her to Costco tomorrow! Imagine that! AFTER I'd told her that I have some errands I have to do tomorrow. (Or, maybe she thought I'd drive MY truck...?) When I said I had my own errands to do, she said “Maybe Saturday.” Yep... she expects ME to go to do the hauling and lifting. She didn't roll in until about 14.00 or so as it is... should have done that running before coming here. None of my business. After all... she doesn't bother getting cat food... I do... again. I watch the house, mow the lawn, keep the property neat (cut the limbs, etc.)... and what do I get when it comes the the basic respect? Blocked in, have to get “clearance” from the twats to mow... Nope. The kindness will be returned... “Do unto others” and shit. - 18.48 Been sitting in this room most of the evening. Had a little chat with Mark as he glazed the garage window. But I have to note here that Ms. Twat is down, in the kitchen, probably to pay the rent. Shame I can't hear THAT chat. But I wonder if the 100 will be offered this month.... Hmmmm.... Not counting on it. It would help with the truck, of course, but that's why I won't count on it. - Anyway... still miserably hot. - Started to move the videos to the server for LN but it's taking quite the longest for only 3. So I'll have to work on them a little at a time... and now, I'm trying to decide where to put them: on their own page or in the content. No rush. - I can't believe it's this early... I'm actually ready to go back to bed. Maybe sleep for now, wake early... get a run on the day tomorrow. - And yes... Ms. Twat parked in the only space available to get out. So? If I should decided to take a ride during the night... I'll take the key in the kitchen, move the qunt and roll along. Respect repaid by respect given. - And I looked-up “Kris” and Lola... will have to find the addresses... Maybe make a “visit” one of these days. - 21.19 In a sweat and sitting at the table. Mimou is whining a bit. I'm waiting to hear the kitchen door squeal open and shut. Meanwhile, I see the kitchen light is still on so she must be awake. I'm about to have a smoke and get into (ONto) bed. We had a moment of “rain” a little while ago. The météo claims there's more to come at 2.00 but I doubt them now. They've had rain in the “radar” today and we got none. - A shower would be nice, comforting for sleep but I don't dare. - Wondering what was said to Ms. Twat earlier. I doubt anything about making lawn-mowing and more convenient for me OR moving the garbage. - To that point, I've send a message to a legal advisory site for VT asking if I have the same rights by law as a “paying” tenant. They'll either e-mail or phone at some point. I gave no address particulars, but will do so when we speak. Especially the garbage situation... and parking... and this nonsense about aggravating and accusing of verbal abuse (lying). Just a matter of time. Next week will prove “fun”, as it were. I'll have more liberty and if need be, will have “inspectors” come by. Taking NO chances. - Mimou's been at my door, howling. He's asking to be tossed out. I wonder if she'd do so... there's thunder now but no rain nor wind and, well... there was that one evening, last week, when she DID put him out. I'd never forgive her if she put him out and something horrid happened to him. But I wouldn't put it past her to do so... and then try to hand-off the blame. Ignorant qunt. - Well... at least I've got the “legality” started, and the search for her “Kris” and Lola as well. She might think she'll shove me off the way she did with Stanhope, but... I'll be in touch with him as well and if he'd like to sue her for any damages... he's got a “witness”. After all... I didn't say or do anything against HIM. I answered questions about “her” and, in reality, HE hanged himself with his notes and voice messages. If he still has time for a case against her... - On that note, it's time for a v-ton, tele, and an attempt at some rest for the night. It's almost 90°F in this room, the door to the house is shut with the roll at the bottom, no open window for ventilation, and I'll have to put up the “curtain” over the screen door tonight... I've no doubt. Yeah... court. Let's see her wrangle her way out of this shit. If it would come to monetary awards... I'll go for 3 month's rent at the very least (at 700/mo). -
(23.30) IT'S BLOODY FUCKING 30 FUCKING DEGREES IN THIS FUCKING BOX! THIRTY FUCKING DEGREES!
A v-ton, crisps, light v-ton and 2 episodes of AbFab. A fucking rag on my head to sop the sweat. Making, taking notes. Fucking QUNT!

Fri.06.Jul: 8.30 and another morning of heat. But what's killing is having had to sleep through a night of THRITY FUCKING DEGREES!!!! MY EYES ARE CAKED! MY CHEST IS FULL OF SHIT! MY HAIR'S EVERY WHICH WAY FROM SWEATING! This bull-shit is just too, TOO much! And, quite frankly, I'm not in the best of moods this morning. But I must say that with one exception at about 4-something, I slept through (once I actually got to sleep). I had an alarm set for 5-something but slept through that. Heard the 7.00 alarm, turned it off and “dozed” until the 8.00. Dozed after that as well. Fuck this shit. Fuck this house. Fuck this shit-hole. Fuck the nasty qunt who believes she runs and owns the fucking world. - Anyway... I had a bit of some kind of the strangest DREAM almost just before waking:
I was in some kind or sort of an institute and was to be ordained a priest... a sort of “new Catholic” priest. The “church” was old, rather falling apart, there was a “pope” or some sort of thing there to preside over the ceremony. And a priest, a bit older than I, who was supposed to “guide” me through it all. But I was tired, exhausted, really. I looked like shit, a mess, having not slept well the night before. The church was covered in all sorts of dust, plaster and such. And I wasn't quite certain about any of what was going on, not sure what to respond to, reply to, how, none of it. But the papal fellow didn't seem to notice and the priest beside me just sort of let the whole situation roll along. And all the while, all I wanted to do was go back to my little room and get some sleep.
There. How about that? The sleep bit, I can understand. But “priest”? WTF? - Anyway... there was some kind of dog or something at the back window/porch just now. A guttural bark, sounded almost ill. I've no idea what it was barking at and I don't know what dog it was. Of course, it might have been the Twats' poor little creature. I didn't see it when they came back from their “camping” and I didn't see it all yesterday. But that doesn't mean anything. They don't let it out often anyway. But it was a horrible bark, and, well... let's just hope that nothing untoward happens to Mimou. HOW-EVER... shortly after the dog barking, the sound of POUNDING foot-steps was QUITE noticeable in this little oven-box where-in I am in residence. Stomping about in the kitchen... as it were. Oh well, alas I suppose. - As for me... 8.47 now and I'll need a bit of a freshening shower before heading out the door today. Should be interesting to see how THAT works out. Well... 24/33° already... supposed to go DOWN to 23/27° this after-noon! And NO “CHALEUR” “AVERTISSEMENTS” this morning! (Could've fooled me... it's still almost fucking 30 in this shit-box!) - (PS: 28 on Sunday, clear skies... mowing weather... bets are on... NOT HAPPENING.) - 14.40 NOW THIS.... THIS IS PRETTY AMAZING! Mme. left at about some point after noon, asked if I wanted to go with her to Costco. We discussed last night's heat and when I told her that I'd noticed the temperature reaching “93” in the room, she, OF COURSE, told me that HER room reached 95! THEN she started talking about getting an air-conditioner. (I, of course, played into the “for your room” and the “heart-break seeing the critters in the heat”. WHAT-the-fuck-EVER!) Then I got out of making the trip by using “heat cramps” and “the runs”... and how I needed to stay near a toilet. Ding-ding! It worked! Off she toddled... I hung here for a bit, looking for the paint, on-line, for the truck and about 1n hour or a bit more ago, decided to simply get into the truck, head into Enosburgh, empties, more vodka, NAPA (to see if they could order the paint), and Hannaford's (coffee, tonic, franks, crisps, bread, PopTarts, V8). And so, off I went... - The truck still feels as if it “pulls” to the right from time-to-time, but over-all, it's a joy to drive along in. (I just wish I wasn't so pre-occupied with the potential break-downs. But that should be better after a visit to Mike.) - *** OH WAIT!!! ALMOST FORGOT!!! SHE GAVE ME THE 100 THIS MORNING AND YES... FUCK EVERYBODY... I TOOK IT! VODKA! (AND THE PAINT...) *** - So... into Enosburgh where the returns went in a snap, so too, getting 2 more bottles of vodka. (I believe I go through 2 per month. I'll have to keep track of this.) From there, to NAPA where... well... to my embarrassment EMBARRASSMENT, that is to say, the fucking NUMBER for the paint IS IN THE GLOVE-BOX! SHIT! The wonderful woman at the counter came to the truck and we saw it together. I feel SO SUCH THE IDIOT! BUT... THEY ORDERED IT AND SAID IT WOULD BE IN TOMORROW! AND NOT AT THE 15-16$ ON-LINE PRICE BUT ABOUT 9$! I ORDERED 3! TAH-DAH. (Now... I do believe in my heart that I can be forgiven if I take the truck tomorrow and get the paint. “God” will help me... or “Karma” or whom-ever has helped me through the tragedies of my life-time. I keep that thought in mind and heart.) And they're a fun crew there, in that store. And WOW... professional! She even showed me these “caps” that go on the rockers to make them “look good”. The older fellow told me that VT inspection is a pain in the arse and what won't pass here WILL pass in NY. (Good to know.) Anyway... that done, I was off across the road to Hannaford's for the item's listed... on FS. (Out of 50, I've 16 left now but that's OK because there's MORE than enough coffee here now, which is of UTMOST importance!) Just finished a glass of the V8 (which would be nice with vodka too... for breakfast... at this rate). As almost expected, it's helping my over-all “ick”. Veggies... there's something I'm lacking in my diet that V8 helps. MUST keep THAT in mind more often. - AND SO... I MADE IT BACK TO THE SHIT-HOLE BEFORE SHE DID! GOT ME AND MINE INTO THE ROOM (which STINKS from the sweating!!!) AND I'VE PARKED IN FRONT OF THE GARAGE. (I should mow where I park since it wasn't mowed last time because Mme. had her truck there and wouldn't move it...) -
***AND NOW FOR THE NEWS*NEWS*NEWS*NEWS* *** GOT A VOICE MESSAGE REPLY TO MY ENQUIRY ON-LINE LAST EVENING ABOUT MY “RIGHTS UNDER THE LAW OF VERMONT” PERTAINING TO “TENANTS”. CONFIRMED, IN VOICE AND TEXT: I AM AT PAR WITH “PAYING” TENANTS AND HAVE THE VERY SAME RIGHTS AND PROTECTIONS AS THE TWATS UP-STAIRS. SO... FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, THIS IS GOOD TO KNOW. AND IF IT SHOULD COME TO NECESSARY, THERE WILL BE COURT APPEARANCES. AND I'VE GOT THE VOICE AND TEXT TO PROVE IT. GOOD NEWS FOR THE DAY INDEED!!! ***
So now, it's a matter of waiting for the old qunt to return. No doubt, there'll be hauling to be done. But, the heat wave has broken, it's rather wonderful. The fan registers 75F which feels almost cool after all that misery of the past week and some. So hauling won't be too much trouble... too much. And my mood is better now, having done my running and ordering the paint for the truck. AND THE NEWS FROM THE LAWYERS. So on with the day... what's left of it. - 19.48 Up from a nap of an hour and the sun is POURING into the room where it's all of 20° at the moment!!! ONLY 20! - Lucky for me, when Mme. returned today, I was doing a bit of “gardening”... weeding and the likes. “Working”, as it were. And indeed, she DID buy herself an air-conditioner (and thankfully, she's wearing a light jacket this evening because of the THIRTY degree DROP in temperature). - 21.20 All in bed. Had a bit of “pasta salad” with Mme. this evening... not “invited”, she set the table. I had only enough to appear to have had enough, thanks. I'm fine. - Anyway, I'm off to shower before bed and it's WONDERFULLY cool in here. Although, just before she went to the loo, Mme. announced a 69F in her room and my fan (same as hers) indicated 81F. So there! THIS room is HOTTER in Summer and COLDER in Winter. But does it make any difference? Nah. - Off to shower now. - OH... PS: SHE BOUGHT ME A CARTON OF SMOKES! IMAGINEZ-VOUS DAT! (Trying to make sure that I don't leave whilst she's on the road? I should think that's the point.) - 21.49 SHOWERED! SCRUBBED! And off to a smoke and back to a... V-TON! NEW BOOZE! - 21.57 AND 14°! YAY!!! 67% humidity. Very nice. Clear skies too. LOW tonight... 11! THANK YOU! -

Sat.07.Jul: 00.48 Two episodes of “AbFab”, one regular v-ton and one lighter and lights out. But I need to go back to the “AbFab” days of my own life. THAT is what I NEED to do! Bradshaw? Zur? I need HELP! - 8.14 Woke at 7.47, looked at the clock and decided not to bother until the alarm. At the alarm, I turned it off and decided not to bother. But had to make a bit of a pee so that's why I've bothered. - II see the sun shining out there, through the curtains, and I feel the coolness of the morning in the room. And today's another “Cowansville” day... but “fun, fun, fun” in that there's “business” of REFUND to fuck with. I fore-see miserable attitudes. Let's hope I'm mistaken. - Mimou is on the porch with much to say already. - I suppose I should get dressed. There are corn tortilla crisps waiting to be allowed through. I don't know why I bought those yesterday instead of the regular potato. But... - 12.46 GOT THE PAINT... 27$ FOR PAINT X3 AND THE MESH! (And the paint came from the NAPA store in.... Albany... NEW YORK! Imajindat!) Now... to get my money back from .... Canadian Tire. HAH! - And, I'm having a slight “episode” this morning... lingering. I wonder: lung cancer? Wouldn't surprise me. - 18.37 BAD NEWS! THE ROCKERS ARE ROTTEN! 100$ TO GET THOSE COVERS. OH WELL. I soaked them with the rust treatment. I'll have to re-build a bit more than I'd thought, with the Bondo. But today's paint IS A MATCH! So that's good. It's going to be a busy couple of days though, with the Bondo and paint work. I've NO doubt I'll hear “That won't pass inspection.” I'll have to check the guy in Sheldon. Hopefully he'll do it... and not be a tight-ass, as they call them. - And so, other-wise, I sat and did a very little weeding with Mme. in the garden this evening. And we had A burger with some fries and a beer. She's off to the “Ice Cream Social” up the road. Me? I'm going to try for a quick shower before bed tonight. - Tomorrow, she'll be on the road with Ms. Hallie. I'll TRY to get the fucking lawn mowed. Left her a note, on the table: Lawn Mowing Sunday 10:00am to 12:00 Noon. I told her whilst we were in the garden, to speak to the freaks. Let's see how that works out. If it doesn't get done this week... none of my business. - 22.39 Showered and ready for v-ton, tele and sleep. And all's rather well. - Relieved, a bit, that I've addressed the rockers. But multiple videos out there show how badly Silverados rot.... and that's what's happened to the panels... “rot”, plain and simple. All I can do now is hope that there's not all that much else wrong. And I've learnt how to put those slip-on panels on... even with-out welding. In fact, some guy just put some kind of sheet metal over the rockers on his '02, painted the bottom part of his white truck black. It looked quite nice. Well... there are options. Tomorrow, by 10.00, I'll be out mowing. When I'm done, I'll get to the rockers... Bondo the holes right away. By Monday I'll be able to sand and paint, and if I can find some, maybe I'll put on some kind of under-coat. I can say “I'm making sure it doesn't get worse before I can get to the actual repairs.” I know I won't be taking the truck to Mike for inspection though... I can be pretty sure he won't pass it. - Anyway... time to cut this short and get to the business of bed. Tomorrow, I must wake feeling “well-enough”. And Mme. will be gone for a few hours so I might even get in a laundry. I'm not counting on it. I mean... I got to shower tonight... quickly, but enough. Let's hope I wake in good health tomorrow.

Sun.08.Jul: 0.03 2 episodes of AbFab, ONE v-ton (equal to 2, of course). And it's lights OUT. AND... the hope for/of sleep. FUCK! I HATE THIS EXISTENCE! - 7.56 AND THIS FUCKING LAP-TOP IS “PERFORMING” SOME SORT OF “SCAN”!!! HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN! BULL-SHIT!!! - AND I woke at about 7.00-ish to the sound of stomping cow! Mme. up and plodding about the fucking house. I continued to doze though, for a bit. But, when I simply couldn't stay in the bed any longer, I got up to a womping bit of tooth-ache, lower left, WAY in the back... where my teeth don't even meet when I've got the bite-guard in (which I did, all night). So, a LOVELY fucking morning... again. Let's see how the 10.00 mowing bit goes. As I tell myself: A contractor wouldn't sit about waiting for vehicles to be moved, and shit to be picked up... I'm certain not going to do it. If I get the front done and the vehicles aren't moved? Tough shit toots. (I can't wait to chat with Curtis and ask him how much he'd charge... I'm going to keep a running calculation on my work here... just in case....) - Nice morning though... fuck. - 9.56 The note I left on the table yesterday clearly reads “Lawn Mowing” and “Sunday” and “10:00am”. She's JUST going into the shower. - 20.47 SHOWERED! THE LAWN WAS MOWED FROM 10-13.00! THEN... I GOT TO WORK ON THE TRUCK! AND *THAT* WAS MORE THAN I'D BARGAINED FOR! The mesh? I don't know, maybe I don't understand it, but it didn't work as I'd thought it would. Still, it's in there, under the Bondo which kept hardening before I had time to use it all! Maybe because, when I'd done the fucking lawn (and did a splendid job on it, I must say), I brought the truck from in front of the phone company, where I'd parked it (and the Twats took up the drive as I'd finished the front lawn... morons), and parked it in the back yard... in the sun... which was hot. What-ever. But I DID get MOST of the rocker panel on the driver's side. Not too bad. And I DID re-build the cab corner on the passenger side. Not too bad. And I put more rust stuff on all over. Sanded down to the metal as much as possible. So? Now it's a matter of waiting until everything “cures”. Meanwhile... there was a bit of a spot on the back door, driver's side? I hit it with the sand-paper? Fucking ROT! So, it got a dose of rust re-what-ever and tomorrow... a slap of Bondo on that too. I KNOW the thing won't pass “proper” inspection... Mike won't. But it WILL LOOK a bit better... for as long as these patches last. I KNOW there's MORE money that needs to be invested but... TYRES are first... if nothing “mechanical” is wrong. I'd like, very much, to see Dennis... before I die. - Mme. came back at about 15.00 and got to the garden to weed and... of course... FUCKING WEEDS ON THE LAWN. OF COURSE! I MOWED! I spoke on it. Typical Vermont: can't STAND to have anything neat. She said “That's not me.” and I pointed out how there was neatly stacked fire-wood and kindling which is now a mess, and how it doesn't take but moments after actual work is done to un-do it. Then too, the fact that her house is being torn apart by the dog up-stairs. And that she doesn't mind any of it at all. She shut up. Oh well... - Meanwhile... all day I've had tooth-ache!!!! Last tooth, bottom, left. A swish with Listerene, then coconut oil, hard brushing... and with “meal” (tossed salad... from garden, left-over pasta salad... none of which I could chew so tomorrow should be interesting when it comes through), I had a VO-ginger which I swished round. Not sure if it's the booze after a day's work and no food or if the booze dislodged something but the “pain” is gone now. - And so... the fan in the door is registering 78F but it feels more like 98F. Tomorrow is supposed to be hotter. Mme. will be gone until (she says) “Thursday... unless it gets late. I can sleep on Yogi's couch.” She doesn't know and I know better than to take her at her word so... it'll be just another typical Mon-Thurs. Sad... too sad. - I'm just having one of my franks. Yes, I'm hungry. No roll though.... can't chew all that yet, - So Mme.'s watching “Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang” with Hallie and Mimou and I'm going to pop out for last (?) smoke and get me to settle down for the night. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be able to put some paint on today's work. I've no place to go any time immediately, but I'd like it to LOOK a bit nicer. Here's hoping. - 23.55 LAST SMOKE!

Mon.09.Jul: 8.46 Don't know why, but I woke, on my own, at about 5.00 this morning, pee'ed and went back to bed. Heard the 7.00 alarm, turned it off... rolled over, went back to snooze. Hear the 8.00 alarm, turned IT off and figured I'd get out of bed. No tooth-ache this clear and sunny morn. But the un-chewed salad of last evening in creating its own little havoc in the bowels. Well? Can't have a “perfect” morning. No prob. The rain on Wednesday has been moved to rain tomorrow so that means I have to get to the painting at some point today. I'm not TOO thrilled about that, but I suppose it'll have to do. There isn't room in the barn for the truck so... I'm dressed in “civil” clothes right now but will change to the filth later (when I've got the house to me and the critters) to do the work. (I NEED to get to the Subaru too! I want that out of my way! Yesterday would have been a perfect time to get it across the road but... of course... the drive was blocked. And this morning, Mr. Twat's vehicle is still there, IN the drive, beside the house. HAH! Mme. will have to be backing out unless he moves the damned thing before she's ready to leave... she's in the loo now, prepping for...) - Anyway, how nice to have been in bed by mid-night for a change. And, although “broken”... about 8 hours of sleep. Let's hope it pays off well during the day and all that need be done gets done. (I'm not really looking forward to Wednesday though. More money out and I'm SURE I'll be hearing some horrific news about the truck. Oh well. I keep thinking of what I was told, years ago, and only just heard in an episode of AbFab: “In order to make anything, you have to invest in yourself.” Well... true, even if one invests in stocks, bonds and the likes, one needs to invest something some-where... My investment in “me” is the investment in the truck. So? So. And if I'm to get out of and away from here at any time... the truck is integral. I got what I asked for: the truck. Now it's time to work WITH it.) - And there's my philosophical bent on THIS morning. Lettuce sea how it all turns out. - 19.37 WELL! At about 10.30 she was off and on the road! And I was OUT and finishing the sanding (shitty job on the door) and painting, both, the truck and the Subaru (which needs a bit more paint but it can wait). - Painting done on the truck. As good as it's going to get. It looks “cleaner” but I know there's more that will have to be done... costly stuff. Still, I checked on-line for the “going good price” for the truck... about 7k$, even with the mileage. So I did well enough. - Finished at about 15.00. Decided to clean a tool box from the barn. Will probably paint it with the truck paint since I have LOTS left (decided NOT to paint the tail-gate because it looks fine enough... depending on the lighting). The wrenches can go into it and it can probably maybe go into the back of the truck. We shall see. At this rate, I probably should get one of those “tool boxes” for back there. But... there are other things, like tyres (4-800$ and that's not including the mounting and such!) and who-knows-what that will be found on Wednesday. - By 17.00 it was time for “meal” for all... AND AS I STARTED CLEANING THE USUAL FUCKING MESS THAT WAS LEFT FOR ME... THE FUCKING “SIMMER” FLAME WAS ON AGAIN!!! I TOOK A PIC AND SENT IT OFF. MOMENTS LATER: DON'T TELL ME I DID IT AGAIN! YES, YOU MORON, YOU DID IT AGAIN! - Anyway... i had 2 franks on rolls with ketchup/mustard. It was fine enough, and THEN... I got to the house! - Changed the bag in the Hoover and hit the place good! Next came the mopping. I took pictures of the “before” and “after”. Fucking slob, this one here. AND... I'VE ONLY JUST FINISHED!!! - Got the bed & bath linens into the wash. They're on the bed. Clothes are in the dryer. Only thing left: my “work” clothes. Tah-dah! As I say: YES! I *AM* *THAT* *FUCKING* *GOOD*!!! - Almost time for the 8pm stroll and then? Me to the shower and v-tons! I've already had it with this place (again). But at least it's clean. - Fucking shame the old crony in-breeds don't see what work gets done round here. They're fucking quick to not speak, to give attitude, and won't bother to actually investigate. Doesn't fit their agenda or narrative or purpose. Fucking scum. - Never mind. It's all documented. - 22.11 SHOWERED at last. Final wash in the washer. The house is “clean...ish” and the temperatures out-side are dropping (whilst the in-side is still friggin hot). V-ton poured... the tonic was in the freeze for a while. Crispy and bubbly for a change, the way it should be. And I'm ready for beddie-bye and hoping for a night's sleep. Also... thinking of Dennis. I wonder: Will Fate be so hateful as to take him from me before I get the chance to see him once more? I worry about that of late. I worry because I have the truck and I wonder if it would tolerate the trip. It's the one trip, other than my “last”, that I hope to make... soon. Well... Wednesday will tell. - Meanwhile, the little ones are in their room. The TV is working... thanks to me... AGAIN. And another day closes. It went by quickly. To think... this peace will be gone in mere days. Alas. - Oh well. A quick visit to the soc.med. and away I go. - 23.55 SHAME ON ME! So much for the “quick visit” to soc.med. NOW... to finish my v-ton with some AbFab!

Tue.10.Jul: 8.56 The dreaded “double-digit day”. Another month flying by! HOW? - Did NOT want to get out of the bed this morning and if I hadn't needed to pee, probably wouldn't have done... yet. After all, Mme. served breakfast to the little ones at 9.00 yesterday. But they don't deserve to wait. They truly don't. - But I've had coffee and loo and taken the recycling to the curb. And yes... breakfast has been served. - I feel rather like shit this morning. And had only ONE v-ton last night! Got to bed at about 1.00. Slept through. Still, feeling as if I'd slept under a semi. Oh... the days. And I have to ring Mike today, hoping to get some “firm” appointment tomorrow. And I'll probably have to go to the banque for cash today. I dread that, rather. Still, it's a “must be done” matter. - I just wish I could wake in the morning, refreshed and ready to take on the tasks. - The “rain” is “due. But there's been about 10 drops and the skies above are more blue than cloud. Probably another “no go”. - Oh well. I have to get this posted to the on-lines today. This is page 10 on the “doc” already. My, I've so much to say for somebody who does nothing. - At least all the work on the truck is done. The Subaru will be next. Perhaps this evening... perhaps. - Fucking Internet is down again. This in-bred hick town is disgusting. Time to “troubleshoot” on my own again. - Oh, and the hot water's back down... 50 gals... gone. Amazing! (And of course, I'll be the one to blame.) - 9.22 Almost forgot the DREAM: I can't remember how it began but the “theme” was that I'd bought some tags and stickers and such, for some sort of sale or something of the kind, MANY tags, and when I laid them out on a table (or bed or sofa) a breeze came by and systematically blew them all over the room! So I gathered what I could, there were so many, and put them into a bag and moved them to a table in another room where there was an open window. AGAIN... a breeze came through the room and neatly, systematically again, SUCKED them up off the table and out the window! I was pissed-off, thinking of all the money that I'd wasted on all that, only to have it PULLED out the window! And, we, there were others in the room, on some upper floor in a flat in a city, so that, what-ever went out the window was completely lost. I yelled “What in the fucking world could do that? Just PULL ALL of this shit right out of the window? What are the chances? (that air could line itself so perfectly as to neatly PULL ALL of those tags and such out that window). And, as I was on the brink of just going completely angry... I woke. - I wonder what THAT was all about? (The only thing I can think of is the money that's about to go into the truck.) - Meanwhile, I pulled the power on the router and just put it back. Let's go check the Internet. With-out it, I've no phone on my own! NOT good. - It's back. - 9.31 Checking for the “rain”? NOT HAPPENING! Fuck. - 21.51 and I'm LATE with my wanting to get into bed. AND I'm exhausted... for no real reason. “Concerning”. - But, I DID manage to paint the old tool-box AND get ALL of the wrenches into it. Now, to figure where to “hide” it all. I'd like to keep it in the truck but crossing the border? I wonder. We'll see. And, as far as I'm concerned, the Subaru is painted. Now to fill the tyres and get it washed and photo'ed and listed and GONE. - The appointment to bring the truck in is now for 9.30 on Thursday. And I'm “concerned” about that as well, considering a really nice chat with Mrs. Twat this evening. Seems she bought her car from Mike (Integrity) and it turned out to be “a piece of shit”. He sold it to her with bad breaks and refused to put them in good order until she raised Hell. Then, she took it for an under-coating and he blotched some kind of “coating” to the point where it was gunk all over the under-carriage AND up into her engine. All said, he gave her a hard time with the purchase and with the maintenance. So I'm really not looking forward to bringing the truck to him on Thursday. She asked why I don't just bring it across the street for the check. Truth of THAT matter is: I don't trust any of them over there. My “introduction” to Dick Wright Ford wasn't pleasant. The stories I've heard about the place... not to mention the affiliation with “Stanhope” and not knowing how he sees me at this point in time. No, I don't trust them. And this truck is too damned important to me to have anybody fuck about with it. Looks like I'll have to find another garage... especially for work that will have to be done. - “Meal” today? Well... at about 15.00 I had 3 franks on rolls. At 17.00, I had a bit of garden salad. Then, at almost 20.00, I toddled to the store for ice cream. “Intake”. - It was a rather “quiet” day, all told. Hot again. Only the slightest bits of rain. Nothing to actually make note of. Had a bit more this evening but nothing valuable. - Tomorrow, I'll use the time to cut my hair and paint the tail-gate. Yes, it should be painted because in its current colour, it really doesn't match the rest of the truck. I have 2 cans of silver left and 2 cans of good clear. I may as well have at the tail-gate anyway. - Now, time for a shower. - Oh, I covered the “Owner's Manual” for the truck as well... PO boxes. Looks OK. Not “fab” but OK. - 22.37 Showered. Toe-nails clipped. V-ton poured. And I almost forgot to mention: THE RUNS!!! 4 BOUTS OF THEM THIS MORNING! Why? No idea. Probably poor mastication. None-the-less... RUNS! Hopefully, no more of THAT to come. - Smoke. Tele. Time to wrap this shit up.

Wed.11.Jul: 1.19 lights out at last. One v-ton. - 9.15. The sun is shining. Sky is blue. Temperature is tolerable. Humidity too. First coffee done. Trots to the loo. The garbage at the curb. Number of bags is two. WTF? I'm dressed as well! “Work” clothes already. I intend to paint the tail-gate today. “I intend”. I'd LIKE to go back to bed. I'd LIKE to go back to sleep. I'd LIKE to stay comatose until I've got a place OUT of and AWAY from here to be in residence in. But here I am, and another day commences. Odd... about 7 hours of “sleep” (as it were) and only ONE v-ton last night and it's still the same morning: fucked-up. Oh well. I wake, congested, wheezing, shrill screams from my chest and throat. Maybe one night I'll drown in my own fluids. Probably not though. Too easy. Nah... there's got to be “lingering”. If I've learnt nothing or anything at all through my own existence it's that the “good” folks linger before the peace of death. It's the wicked who get the “quick out”. Anyway, here I am... another day of “make the best”. What a fuck. - 14.47 Third coat of clear on the tail-gate. THIS has been an ALL-DAY endeavour! Little did I ever expect. (But I got the rockers painted too, so that's not bad, I suppose. Not a professional job, but just enough to “clean things up”.) I used the entire second of 3 cans of silver for the tail-gate and started the third can for the rockers. Good thing I went for the 3 cans. Will have to use the second can of clear for the next two coats of that and will probably put on a coat or two of “Rustoleum” to finish the job off. Now I can see how much work would have gone into changing the colour of the Subaru. Speaking of which, Flat-Fix and air... a good washing and that should be ready to roll away to the first person who shows with 500$. (I'd like more but I'm being sensible... Actually, I just want the thing gone before there's too much mention about it being in the barn. The temptation to slap somebody will be just too deep.) - Meanwhile... just had the last of the garden salad. I'm hungry but there's nothing to eat, and I don't want to spend money. I have about 65$ on-hand. Tomorrow's journey to Mike had better not come to more than that. After all... his mechanic said it would take “15-20 minutes” and at 60$ an hour for labour (which is what I'm thinking it probably is... if not 75) I don't expect to be asked for 100 (though it wouldn't surprise me if I am). - And... I got everything up to this point on the Journals... blog and site, this morning. AND 26 videos to the server! Now, to figure what to do with those. A little something MORE to keep me occupied whilst the Q... is about the place. - Well... just waiting for coat-3 to dry. The day rolls on. - 16.02 SPOKE WITH EV! SHE'S IN WAUBEKA! BRUISED! She got to Waubeka and took a FALL! THANKFULLY, nothing's broken. She sounded quite tired. I told her about the truck. She wanted to know why I didn't want a car. We chatted for about 20 minutes. (I wonder... it's about 330mi. to the lake... could I possibly make it there? Maybe Newburgh AND Waubeka in the same trip? Tomorrow will tell.) She says she wants to stay through Labour Day, so... I can hope... set my sites on? Sure would be better than going with the old woman. I can hope... - Meanwhile, one more coat of clear should get the tail-gate done! 3 coats of silver, 3 coats of auto clear and 2 coats of Rustoleum clear. 8 coats of paint should keep it going for a while. Though, it's not really “shiny”. But that's fine. - The garbage FINALLY got picked-up at about 15.45! I was worried. - And now, the garden salad I had a while ago is churning in my gut. Oh... it'll never end. Just let it “do” what it's going to “do” tonight and NOT tomorrow whilst I'm at the garage! - I can't believe this day is almost over already and all I've actually done is the truck. But at least I've gotten THAT done. Yeah? - 19.02 and in 28 minutes... it will be THREE hours since I put the last coat of paint on the truck and it all SHOULD be dry enough to put the tail-gate back together and move along! AND... I've managed to fit in a HAIR-CUT!!! Even in spite of the fact that the trimmer is shitting the sheets. I bought the damned thing in Macy's, BTV, shortly after I arrived in Shitholia. Well? Shit is shit and shit is contemporary and contemporary is shit. Time for a new one. So the hair-cut isn't exactly the way I'd like it to be but it's cleaner. AND... so too, the floors which got Hoovered as well. So! Once again... I manage the truck, the out-side of the house, as it were, AND the inside. AND... for “meal”? The last 3 franks. Yes, I've eaten Hallie's “snax”. I'll just have to “feed” her this evening before she goes nigh-night. Oh well. - Just received “word” from the qunt: “We are finally in Kennebunkport & settled in the guest house. I'll be sleeping better tonight. Hopefully I'll be home tomorrow night.” OH FUCK YOU FUCK OFF! Have fun in your “Kennebunkport”. MAN? If and when the moment comes and I know the truck can and will make it... I'LL be on the road... Thanks much, bitch, for the “no visit” with Ev in CT, the no pool at the motels, the “dog's room” and all the rest. Oh, and by the way... get laid... by Dikwad Cooper. You deserve it. - Let me move along here before I get myself TOO wound. - The back of the bridge of my mouth is getting more sore. Can't figure what's causing it but even my sinuses are responding with “cold-like symptoms”. I thought it might be because of the crisps... since I can't really bite them, I tend to crush them, against the top of my mouth, with my tongue. Well.. probably CA... head'n'neck. Time to get the gun. Like I said when Ev asked “What are you going to do with a truck?”... “At the rate I'm going, run myself off a cliff.” We laughed. - 19.38 and the truck is back together. Now to hope that the new paint-job doesn't get fucked-up tomorrow (AND that tomorrow doesn't break the banque... either with the check-up OR the things that will need to be done.) - Watch: I have the truck. Things will be fine with it. I'll collapse. Best I can hope for is instant death... but I know better than that. But the paint job looks pretty damned good. - 21.56 Showered and the wash is in the washer and I NEED to get to bed! I NEED to be awake at 7.00 tomorrow and I NEED to be “AWAKE”! Thankfully, it's another cool night. Hopefully the paint will have thoroughly dried on the truck by morning. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight (my stomach's still churning). Anyway...

Thu.12.Jul:
Today I was reminded of two VERY important matters of fact:
* There are some people in this world for whom you can never do anything with which they will be satisfied. *
Bonnie at Integrity
* Whether it's good enough for them doesn't matter because my work is good enough for me. *
Mark Vinci

0.23 late night, lights out. One v-ton and several episodes of AbFab... and a bit of “trail mix” which should play havoc on my guts. - 7.40 and feeling like utter shit this morning. But up, coffee, pee, smoke and the little ones were up and they're out the door. Clear skies. And a little mouse on the rug in the kitchen. Mouse in the house and Mimou got it during the night. Mighty hunter. - I want to go back to bed. Sleep. But legs, back, neck, head... spasms. The works. It's the stress of the “un-known” with the truck... no doubt. - 10.59 WELL! THAT WASN'T ***TOO*** BAD! It's going to wipe my account pretty close to zero at this point, but... The “general” news is “good”. “Frame's good.” BUT, it was as I expected: the tie-rod... LOOSE! So NO travels to any-where much until THAT'S fixed. AND... for the “not so good”: The “transfer case” is shot. It's been leaking all over the under-carriage. 950$US on THAT, plus the tie-rod, plus the alignment. I don't know how I'm going to manage this... and the appointment is for Friday... 20 Jul. May as well get it done. Next soc.sec. fuck is on the 25th so it won't be too, TOO horrific. And it's not as if I didn't expect to put money into this truck. So? So... THEN... THE FUNNEST BIT: BONNIE said, as soon as I walked in, “I was JUST thinking about you. You posted a really wonderful review on FB. Carefully worded and really wonderful. Thank you.” THAT was for the Subaru! But HEY! It's still on-line AND it's remembered! Anyway... here we go. At least I'll have a vehicle to get into and drive away from here in... Eventually. The “bad” news of the day is that I was (and still am) in the midst of one of my “episodes” all morning. Of course, leaving the house and heading off and having to drive into Highgate and over Brosseau to get almost to St.Albans to go back to Sheldon... and THEN to find that they'd MOVED down the road. I was a MESS! Head floating against the ceiling of the truck, bowels knotted, general fatigue and the stress of expecting to be told that the truck should be junked... It's been one horrific morning. Bottom line: as I rather figured, standing on the porch, at the open window, having a smoke, in the night air... today set me back ONLY 25US. NOT even NEARLY as bad as my anxieties suspected. - And so... HOPEFULLY, Mme. will be able to get me to the garage on Friday and back to the house. other-wise, I'm looking at QUITE a walk. - Meanwhile, I NEED to get rid of the Subaru. No more “excuses” about the tyres and the likes. Perhaps tonight I'll be able to get to that. Fill the tyres with “FlatFix”, toddle across the road for air, drive round the “loop” (square) a couple of times. Then? Wash, clean, list... GET RID OF IT! (It would be delightful if I could do it all before next Friday. I NEED to focus on that!) - And so... the wait for the return of... rolls on. - 19.39 I'm tired. I've been tired all day. I've tried to get a nap or two, to no avail. At about 14.00, I was trying to doze and suddenly heard banging on the porch. Mark showed up again, out of no-where, painting the windows on the porch. We chatted. I spoke candidly on matters of fact: my experiences at Days Inn, experiences here in town. His response: “Sounds to me like you're bitter”. “Proudly-so.” I replied. And at one point I managed to get in the comment about his work as “It won't be good enough.” “For who?” he asked. I said “Oh, in general.” “I don't care if it's good enough for anybody else. My work is good enough for me.” he said. Words to live by. I compared it to the lawn and added that *I* enjoy looking at it because I know it looks good. - And so, that said, there's been no word from the Mme. on her arrival tonight or tomorrow. I wonder what excuse she'll have for not being able to get me to Integrity next Thursday. Or, perhaps she'll pull a “Bob”... and just forget about it all and go on about her own affairs. What-ever. - I went to the store this evening, a half turkey-cheese sandwich, a little cup of ice cream and chocolate milk. “Meal”. Crisps for later, should it come to that. - Almost time to take the little ones out for a stroll. Then? To end this day... whether the old thing returns tonight or not. I don't care because, again, I've worked on things round here, maintained the house and, it doesn't matter whether or not it's “good enough” for anybody else... it's good enough for me. - 22.56 Well... she rolled in just shortly after 20.00. All seems to be “well enough”. We've watched a bit of TV. She's agreed to bring me over to Mike's on Thursday night or Friday morning. But she mentioned something about him bringing the truck here (so she won't have to bring me back over there). Meanwhile, it appears I'm going to have to figure how to get the money to give to Mike. MAYBE I'll try to get to Canadian Tire to get my refund then stop at the banque ATM or something to get the money out. The next deposit won't be until 1 Aug. (I can't fucking believe it's going for August already. Makes me even more sick than I am regularly.) So I really don't want to go drain the 1500USD that I figure it's going to cost me (unless the labour charges are only 200, which would mean 1100, leaving 400 in the account... I can hope). Anyway, I'm a bit nervous about going to Cowansville, because of the condition of the roads up there. Still... what has to be done... And so, already she's talking about being gone the following week, 23-27 July. “My Connecticut trip”. I wonder who she's dragging along with her. It's rather clear: I will NOT be going with her so? I don't really give a shit. AND, she's already talking ANOTHER trip in August! Nice... Me? I get the truck fixed and I'll be heading to Waubeka and Newburgh. And then? Starting on the flat. (Shame, this. There was one place that looked quite nice, less that 700. But, as with the truck... time will provide.) - And so, the stench of paint permeates the room tonight. Thankfully it's going to be cool enough to go with-out the fan. - I have to think of something to pass the time whilst she's here until Monday. (Perhaps a very SLOW trip to Cowansville?) What-ever. It's time to try for some sleep. I'm feeling dragged. Symptoms of a head-cold. I wonder what's going on with my body. But I don't want to know. And of course, with my “fortune and fate”, I'll get the truck together and either drop dead or end up in some “hospice”. That would be fucking typical. No sense thinking about it... Time alone will tell all. - Time for tele and a quite light v-ton tonight.

Fri.13.July: 9.03 It was a rather odd sort of night. I closed the door to the room, because it was a bit chilly (and/or I was chilly from fatigue?) It was lights-out at 1.09 this morning. Once again, later than I wanted but still... I put the alarm on “vibrate only”, turned the 7.00 alarm off, left the 8.00 on, got into bed, under the sheets, pulled them up round my head and ... Was awake at 2-something, then again at 3-something, 4-something... SPASMS and having to pee. But managed to get up, get the legs back, pee and back into bed and to sleep right away. Heard the 8.00 alarm, turned it off and went back to sleep for about an hour... but enough time to DREAM
(Re-cap from notes. Sat.14.Jul: 10.37)
I was Homeless, in residence in some sort of shelter with “friends”. They were shelter-mates, but some-how I knew them as “friends”, before or out-side the shelter. We'd been “released” from the shelter, not “thrown out” or anything of the sort, but more “released from”, and were partying, hanging out and hanging round, having a bit of fun in The City. (It was like Manhattan in some respects and like the “city” of “Triplettes de Belleville” in other respects... shadowy, with a bit of drear, though not dismally dark.) I was clothed but was wearing a sort of bed-sheet over my shoulders, wearing it sort of like a jacket. It was all I really had as outer-wear. It was folded and draped over my shoulders and reached down to just about my waist. It was obviously a sheet, but I wore it as a jacket. Nobody commented, but then again, we were all Homeless and let pretty much anything float. - None of us had any place, other than the shelter, to go to, but I, some-how had been “moved” to a hotel, between 14th and 16th streets. It rather resembled a cross between the “Con-Ed” and the “Met Life” buildings but was other-wise non-descript and it had no particular name. I knew that that's where I was to have a room, but hadn't been in, hadn't registered. The shelter had taken care of all of that. I was just free to roam about and wander the streets with the others. - At some point, as we gallivanted, I found a different hotel, rather nicer, on 20-something street. The “management” were two women, something along the likes of “Diamond and Silk”, the two Black women who dressed in finery and such. They were pleasant enough though they made it obvious that they didn't really approve of providing room for us... the Homeless. Still, as I say, they were pleasant and I left to return to the group in the streets. - We'd all been “mandated” to attend some sort of gathering, a class, function, presentation of some kind or another, but we got split-up into different groups and such. And it all took quite too long and late into the evening. When it was over, I came out, met only a few of the group and when I realised it was time to go in for the night... I couldn't remember either of the hotels, couldn't remember names of the places or their location! I wasn't even positive that I had a room in either of them since I hadn't actually arranged for the rooms and I couldn't really trust the Homeless services. I thought “The owners of the both of those places could have told me anything, maybe just to get me out of there.” I was in a bit of a panic, and started to roam about the streets, trying to remember where the hotels were and how to get back to them before too much later. - Some-how I was suddenly in a public loo. A LARGE room, grey stones, large, old building, almost castle-like, very cavernous! I was trying to make my appearance less “Homeless” (even in spite of having that sheet over my shoulders). I took the sheet off and realised that I was wearing shorts... some hideous, “old man from Florida” sort of shorts, light-weight cotton-like fabric that looked off-white from one angle and a bit of faded lemon-yellow from another. I felt the right idiot! - Some fellow came in to wash his hands (in what was more a public fountain than a hand-washing basin). I proceed to leave this loo but have to walk through and around all sorts of litter, clutter, general trash and such. The place is old, large and not really kept-up. As I'm leaving, another guy comes in, yelling with some sort of glee, that he's found, some-where, some missing pieces for some sort of board game! I leave. - Walking out to the streets, determined to find either of the hotels, I still can't be certain that I have a room at either, a place to, at least, spend the night, to sleep in safety and some comfort. But I can't remember either of them... no name ,no address so I realise that I can't even get a cab to them. I've got nothing about a destination to tell a cabby AND I can't even ASK for directions... I know NOTHING about either of these places! I'm a bit concerned, perhaps a little worried but not panicked. I just keep moving along the streets until I come to this stair-way. - It's in one of those glass buildings of only about 3 storeys. The stairs are steel and wood, the whole place is brightly lighted and there's an Indian woman sitting on the steps so I have to walk around her. Even the stairs have some off-white fabric, “runner” of sorts, on them, with a kind of “Hindu/Hindi” print, writing, pattern. The “runner” makes trying to climb the stairs quite dangerous because it's not attached, as would be a carpet, but there are about 30-40 people climbing and descending with-out trouble or even hesitation. I do my best to appear to be familiar with the situation. I don't want to draw any attention to myself. - At the top of the stairs, in one of the halls (also brilliantly lit, and so much “white and off-white” on walls and décor) is a double queue, mostly women, almost the full length of the hall. (Perhaps 3 men at most, aside from me.) There's one woman, of some “position”, who begins reading off a list of names. She says to another woman “You're not familiar with this. Here....” and hands-off a list of names. I think to myself “How can you NOT be familiar with this? It's a roster. Your name's on it, somebody calls it, you respond. Familiar with it? How stupid!” - I look at one list. The names are almost incredibly ridiculous... obviously made-up, fake, phoney, theatrical, fairy-tale-like. The place, the people, the lists are all part of some place for derelict women! I begin to panic, become extremely anxious and in the swirl of all of this, I begin to think, LOUDLY, to myself, that I MUST remember at least ONE of the hotels, a location, description, name, SOMEHTING... BUT I CAN'T!!! (And in that panic... I woke.)
9.26 Sun shining out there. Door to the porch still closed. Just finishing first coffee and this journalling. Pondering a SLOW trip to Cowansville to get my money back on the truck paint. Feeling only ever so slightly better this morning after the sleep last night but let's see how it goes after a smoke. Need to get rid of my finger nails. Probably should try working on the Subaru too. Probably... Should... Try... Why? And I have to pee... AGAIN! - 12.32 Just finishing a browsing across the soc.med. Mme. has been out picking berries. And I'm trying to figure what I'm going to do with this day (aside from going back to bed). - 16.25 SO! ALL of the potted lilies have been planted out front. I added some to those already there and made a small “bed” under the sign for “Whoregate” so there's no grass to me mowed under it. (Got approval from Mme. too... AND “thanks”.) Put lime on the new grass. Everything got well watered with the hose. It passed the day. And I can say, for certain, that I'm NOT feeling AT ALL well. Light-headed. “SOB”, as is medically doc'ed. And a few “palipitations” with a touch of chest pain in the left side. Just falling apart here. - ALSO... posted the new application for FS with “work in exchange for rent of 350”, mentioned the truck, gave the 5199 house number, nobody living in my space. Let's see how THAT works out. - AND... RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM THE TEXAS A.G.'S OFFICE, re: Direct Express! (I'm wondering how they got my phone number. I don't recall having included it in any letters, but it's not really important. I'll have to phone them back... next week some time. - As I was watering, some woman named “Anita” (of all names) asked about the house here. Her husband's “third great grand-father” lived in a brick house here and she's wondering if this is the one. Seems he'd been murdered here, in town... 1856 or so. I told her the story of Lyle and said that things haven't changed... the reputation carries on. - 17.17
Just looked at about 5 different sites with regard to the “water lines” I'm seeing again today, AND... the general diagnosis is... MIGRAINE! It can happen with (as is right now the case) the head-ache or it can happen WITH-OUT the head-ache part. SO... IT LOOKS LIKE I'M BACK TO GETTING MIGRAINES!
Time for a coffee... That helps a bit... for the migraine. - 21.31 SHOWERED... and as I opened the door to the loos, Mme., who'd been sound asleep as I went in for my shower, was standing at the door. Oh well... My shower didn't take 10 minutes. But she got her loo-time. SO there. - MEANWHILE.....
***** ***** NOT SO GOOD NEWS FOR TODAY: I WAS HAVING A CHAT, SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WHILST Mme. PREPARED THE HADDOCK, BOILED POTATOES AND BEETS FOR “MEAL” WHEN I REALISED... IN MY HEAD, I COULD FORMULATE PERFECT THOUGHTS AND SENTENCES, BUT WHEN I OPENED MY MOUTH TO SPEAK, THE WORDS GOT JUMBLED, MESSED UP, SWITCHED, CHANGED AND TURNED TO BLITHERING. EXAMPLE: I WANTED TO SAY “CANADA”, BUT MY MOUTH SAID “CALIFORNIA”; I WANTED TO SAY “A HUNDRED”... MY MOUTH SAID “A HOOZIK”. I COULDN'T GET NUMBERS OUT. I COULDN'T GET PROPER NAMES OF COUNTRIES. IT WAS *** INCREDIBLY FRIGHTENING ***! OF COURSE, WHEN I TOLD THE OLD THING THAT I WAS HAVING THE TROUBLE... SHE DISMISSED IT. YOU KNOW? ONE OF THESE DAYS I PROBBALY WILL DROP DEAD... AND AT THE RATE THINGS ARE GOING, IT WILL BE HERE, IN THIS HOUSE. AND FOR SOMEBODY WHO WHINED “I DON'T DESERVE THAT.” (ME, LAYING DEAD ON HER PROPERTY), IN MY OPINION... YES, YES SHE DOES. SO IF IT HAPPENS? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANY MORE. BUT I ATE, THE “WATER RINGS” IN MY EYES WENT AWAY... BUT THE HEAD-ACHE IS ON. “MIGRAINE”. HERE WE GO AGAIN. IT'S BEEN YEARS BUT HERE THEY COME AGAIN. WHY NOW? WHY NOT? I DON'T WANT TO KNOW AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO HAVE IT CHECKED. I HAVE PLANS... AND THE TOP OF THE LIST: SEE DENNIS AT LEAST ONCE MORE. ***** *****
In other news: In addition to the “Jesus Trip” for the last week of July.... there's ANOTHER one... 20-26 August! And I don't believe she's got a “road companion” for that one. Says she, this evening, Hallie would have to come along if I join her. Oh yeah? And Mimou? Not to mention that she ADMITTED that I'd be stuck in the truck with Hallie as she gallivanted. Yeah, right. AND... she said that I could go visit Ev on the trip. Yeah? Sure. Like the last time: “You go ahead and see Ev while I'm with....” Instead, Hallie and I sat in the hot sun for over an hour. HELL NO! Hopefully I'll have the ability to see Ev on MY time... just the 2 of us, no concern about somebody else and no time restrictions. I look forward to that... I'd LOVE to be able to trot down to see Dorothy and Donna, but THAT trip is over 18 hours and over 1k mi. Doesn't seem that's going to happen... I don't believe. Even with a perfect truck... I doubt I'd be doing such a trip... especially not in my current state of health. “Episodes” and migraines? Nah. So... “Time will tell” and “We shall see” what come. But the trip to Dennis? And Ev? It's ON! - 21.45 and there are all sorts of fire-works going off some-where. Bastille Day? Friday the 13th? General dumb-fuckery? (Most likely the latter.) - And so... the evening is cool. I've been thanked for putting the lilies in. I'm showered and clean. Tomorrow's Saturday. I might just get the Subaru cleaned-up and listed. I NEED the money and I NEED to get rid of it! Leaving it in the barn is making NO progress toward ANY of those 2 points. - And now... there's some kind of “hair” in my right eye! FUCK! Not bad enough I went most of the day with the blurred vision. Not bad enough I've got head-ache. I'm sick to fucking death of having hairs in my eyes! I LOVE and ADORE the little ones... but it's been too much of this shit of hair-in-eyes. - Great. Coughing makes my head feel as if it's going to explode tonight. Never can have too much “calm”. Never can have much of it... period. - Time to wrap this day ... to the sound of the pounding of fire-works... which I think have just been blown to the end... PEACE! - Oh... from the Internet, about the “water in the eye”...
You can get the aura of a migraine without a headache. This is termed acephalgic migraine. It most often occurs in people with a past history of migraines with aura but can occur “out of the blue”. If you have a history of prior visual disturbances with a headache (i.e., migraine with aura), then it is likely the same without the headache. Also, if it includes both eyes and moves slowly, it is more reassuring to be a form of a migraine.

Sat.14.Jul: 10.26 and, after a night of being up every 2 hours through until about 4.00 this morning... I gave up, gave in, got up and out of bed at... 10.02. My 6 hours of sleep... and it was too. The SPASMS again last night! I have to wonder: migraines yesterday, the inability to speak. I went directly to bed last night at 23.48, no v-ton, not munchies, no tele. Then a night of muscles spasms. This morning, for a few moments, I was feeling rather “OK”... just the usual morning head-ache, stiffness, but I've had coffee, vit.C, vit.K, one naproxen. The wooziness is returning. (Probably because of having chatted with Mme. already... who only JUST gave Hallie her breakfast... the poor dog, laying on the kitchen floor, stomach churning so loudly that I heard it at the kitchen door.) I wonder... But I thought, just this morning (already), how the old man, at this age, was driving round the country, well, FL to NY at least anyway, in the RV with the Jeep attached. I suppose I shouldn't be so concerned about this spate of “off-wellness”. Not yet... anyway. We shall see what Time slams me with... only Time knows and only Time will tell. - Meanwhile, let's see what the vit.K and naproxen do to the rest of the day. It's grey, supposed to rain, did only a little at some point. We shall see. If the spirit moves, perhaps I'll “play” with the Subaru a bit. Perhaps. - Oh, text, at 9.11, from Dorothy. Something about having had a storm. She's just “crocheting”. Thanks for the news. Don't exert yourself. Of course, I've not done too much in the way of corresponding either, I suppose. But as I'm to understand, she's pretty much out of circulation, I keep busy. It really doesn't matter anyway... all told. It might have been nice to drop in on them... at our ages, to say “Bye!”. I doubt that will happen... unless I can figure a way to get there slowly... hotel, motel and the likes, en route. Oh well... Waubeka... Newburgh... that's fine enough. - Now... on with this day. Fuck. - 11.12 Just finished writing yesterday morning's dream from the notes I'd typed quickly yesterday. Interesting how I still remember so much of it even today. - Oh well... almost NOON already. The day's slipping by. I wonder, will Mme. be going to “church” at 18.00 this evening. She's got to be there tomorrow morning at about 9.00. They're having another “brunch”. How charming. - 16.36 Talk about passing a day! I'd laid down at 14.30, set the alarm for 15.30 and woke at 16.30! Just sitting out on the back stoop with Mimou, Mme. and Hallie came round the corner... They'd been out for a “walk”... Yeah... Pammie's. To talk about how miserable life is for them. I've no doubt. Oh well... Mme. needs to have something to talk to. May as well be that old thing up the road. It matters not, what, because it's all kept to themselves. And I'll forever be the “Flatlander”. Fukkem. - At least I feel a touch better. The “rest” (as prescribed on-line) has done some “good”. Now, I'll have to figure something to EAT! - 18.46 She went to Jesus. I went to the store. Potato and egg salad on rolls (2), a “frosted” sort of pastry, the kind I lived on in Riverdale and Rockaway. “Meal”. Crisps for later and 4 rolls left. - But I'm feeling light-headed, a little pain under the right breast. Just tired... as usual. It's a “respiratory” issue, I should think, at this point. And the constant “drippy nose”. Oh well. I'm “counting-down” my days, to be sure. But the sun's come out and the heat's come back and the day has rolled into ... the evening. No working on the Subaru today. Perhaps tomorrow. - Just in from looking at the lilies I planted yesterday. They're OK. Fine enough. - And here we are... Hallie and Mimou... and me. The house is calm. The Twats are up there... resting in the day-light, waiting for the sun to set when they'll come alive, like bats. But unlike bats, they'll bang against the walls... and pound on the floor. All is as all is. - I'm tired. - 21.53 And all are down for the night. And me? HAMBURGER and a few slices of garden zucchini with Mme.! I've EATEN quite well this evening. (Oddly, I do feel a tiny bit better after eating. I wonder...) - PS: I had to add the word “zucchini” to this damned dictionary for spell-check. Now THERE'S a problem. - 23.55 v-ton poured and ready to hit the tele for an episode. Feeling OK. Hoping to sleep tonight and wake refreshed tomorrow. It's going to be HOT again! Mme. has her brunch. Hopefully I'll be granted peace until she leaves. Hopefully I'll be able to get the Subaru together for sale. - Been looking at Gl maps: Ballston Spa and Waubeka. 5 hours' drive through. It would be nice. Something to ponder.

Sun.15.Jul: 9.47 Where to begin? I've been some-what awake from since about 8.40, but keeping either busy or lying down... or the other way round, actually. Mme. left for the “brunch” at about 8.30 or so. I'd no idea whether or not she'd let the little ones out, or fed them so, at one point, I did both. If it's doubles? Oh well. - And so... couple of notes here from this morning's last smoke... at 2.08: I'd been watching an episode of AbFab, FILMED IN NYC... AND THE STRAND, AND THE OLD “TRIANGLE”!!! EVEN *IN*, WHAT I BELIEVE WAS THE OLD “COCK RING” BAR! 42nd AT BRYANT PARK! I WAS IN TEARS!!! Yes, I'm home-sick for The City, but I know, these days, there's no “going back”. It's gone. Not to mention... it's not really “my life” any longer. ANY-wayyyy.... I tried to get a copy of the episode and before it got the chance to complete, the damned Internet crashed! I had to get up, go out, disconnect the damned router... for the night! For me, this place needs a new router. But for the “regular” use, that old piece of shit is fine. I'd rather get my own... in my own... for my own... when I'm out of and away from here. Since there was no Internet and no way to retrieve the video... last smoke on the porch. And believe it or not, at 2.00 this morning, the Twats let Koba out AND the little dik-wad Cooper had Willow out! I was in “a mood”, and when Koba pee'ed, I had to as well... and so I did... right out the porch window. Delightful and I don't give shits nor fucks. I doubt anybody was about to notice and if they were? Oh well... I pee'ed and went to bed. 1 and a half v-tons... and the first was more half'n'half, I must admit. And I tried the night with-out the knee pillow or the clench-guard. (This morning, woke feeling just fine. Hmmm...) - And so now, at 10.03, the sky is some-what over-cast with patches of sun. It's hot, humid this morning. There are THREE cars in the back drive now! Gee... I wonder what ever happened to the “I'll mow at 10.00 on Sunday.” Yep... Mme.'s truck is at the church. Mine is in the yard. And the Twats have THREE parked in the back. So? The lawn SHOULD be mowed... quickly, today. But nope. Typical inconsideration. Me? I'll probably head out to get to the Subaru at long last. Not that there's any particular rush. It's not good weather for photos today. Yes, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I get it listed and, hopefully, the sooner I get it sold and money in and the car out. But? Truth is, I need the money but the inconvenience to Mme. of having it in the barn... well... if it's stuck here... it's HER problem, not mine. She'll have to have it towed away. Since she won't work WITH me... - And there we have it. - I'm still in jammies... no rush. She won't be back for another 3 hours or so and when she returns is when I'll need to be “busy”. For now? Relax. - Meanwhile... I HAVE managed to get that copy of the AbFab episode. My “personal goal” for the day is accomplished. - 11.30 and 2 Twat-cars remain... so no mowing today. Fukkit. And my Internet's been cut once again... it's back but... So... never mind about the rest. I suppose I'll go out and try for the Subaru... the sun's shining. Let's see how miserably hot it is. - 13.35 BAD NEWS: The Subaru won't start. I filled 2 tyres with FlatFix, but there's a 3rd gone low. Went to start the damned thing.... v-v-v-v-v... tick tick click. Dead. The battery is on the charge. So I entertained me by weeding the rose at the corner of the porch, then watering grass and lilies and vinca. It's hot out there too. So, there's nothing I can do at the moment, until the battery is re-charged and I can get the car out of the barn. That might be later today... this evening... or not at all, in which case, I'll just have to settle for about 50$ if I'm lucky and call a place to have it removed. Oh well. Did I REALLY expect to get any money out of this? Not likely. - And the cars in the drive haven't been moved. The grass in the back garden could use a mowing. I'm not concerned. The day is “mine”... and I don't care. - 14.23 Delightful... she comes rolling in, drops the shit from brunch, announces she's off to Fairfield Pond with Hallie, asks if I'd like to go. Nope... I've got the car battery on charge, and I'm rather hungry. Oh well... (Didn't notice that the lawn needs mowing though... didya?) - 21.48 THE SUBARU IS OUT OF THE BARN, TYRES INFLATED, WASHED AND NEAT!!! - 22.31 Another late night. But I'm SHOWERED! CLEAN! And the Subaru is clean too! And THAT'S what's been weighing heavily on mind and soul for too long. (Truth be told, I almost don't want to part with the old thing, but there's NO way I could EVER even hope to repair it. AND, I NEED the income to put into the truck. Sad.) I took about 40 photos of the Subaru, none of which are really any good. They show the “faults” too well. So? Tomorrow? Click click click again. No prob. I still have to word the advert. There's time. Not much, but some. - It was a rather delightful evening when Mme. returned. But she DID get told about the comment her Twat up-stairs mentioned about “What truck is parked in MY yard.” I told her, she's being taken for a complete shit. She's not too thrilled. But she's STILL making “arrangements” for them! Putting their gas on THEIR bill... and putting their heat onto it. Cutting her expenses and raising theirs. And I'm still trying to get her to cancel their lease at term's end. (I know she won't... but if I can get the lay-out of that place... I'll place an advert for it at a rent Mme. won't be able to refuse. We shall see who's “ass” is going to be “kicked”... For me AND for Lyle!) - Anyway, earlier I'd gone to the store for “tuna-macaroni” salad (made 2 sandwiches for myself), a bag of crisps (for tonight) and a Tootsie Roll for dessert. Mme. cooked when she got in and we had 2 franks on rolls, some baked beans she'd made for the brunch, and fried zucchini. (And spell-check on this shit STILL won't correct a misspelling on that word, even after I added it to the “dictionary”. Shit!) And we chatted about the flat up-stairs and other things. It was quite pleasant. She offered to let me put the car on the lawn, at the corner across from the post office. I just might anyway. AND she didn't block the drive when she and Hallie came back from Farfield Pond. - Oh... I DID get the FlatFix into the tyres and DID get the car across to the air pump. But I lost the little stem caps. I could kick myself for that. But with all else on the car, I'm sure that's not an issue. I just feel so stupid. I was trying to be so careful. But with the motor running, I was so excited... I just filled the tyres and headed back to the yard to wash the car. Oh well. - And now... the fan is back in the door tonight. The thermometer on it reads 77F, but it feels terribly hotter in the room. It very well could be just me too. - A ginger ale and vodka (I've only one more drink with tonic so I “borrowed” some ginger ale from the kitchen). I'm seriously hoping for another sleepful night tonight. Last night was quite amazing... no knee pillow or clench-guard. - And so... time to wrap this day up and call it a night. - Tomorrow I have to call the TX AG. And will probably phone Ev... to keep in touch. And it's MONDAY... tomorrow evening is the “free time” in the house. Let's see where it all goes.

Mon.16.Jul: 8.53 Well, it was lights-out at 1.17 this morning, after the second v-ton, two episodes of AbFab and a message from Ballston “We don't have time for visitors”. No prob. I find the response to be rather rude, and a flash-back to that “Nancy” who was so kind to help with the purchase of the Subaru (FB and the crowd-funder) who had to block me on FB because her copper boy-friend took offence when I painted their farm. Nope. Not going through all that bull-shit again. So, I simply posted “Apologies”, clarified that I had no intention of being ha “visitor”, would have stopped “en route to a proper destination” and, before retiring for the night, I “muted” Ballston. As of this morning... “blocked”. The situation is no longer a “situation”. Again... no more of that damned drama bull-shit. (I can't help but look at the proximity of Ballston Spa to Albany and think: “typical”. Crude. Rude. Generally ridiculous. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I looked at Bolton Landing too... remembering “Jim BLT”... He was kinder... and I see why: Much farther North, farther away from Albany. To think how he used to make that trip to Albany, all those years ago. I wonder what-ever became of him. Oh well.) - And so, at 8.14 this morning I got up out of the bed, none the worse for wear. Effected the “block” on Twatters, browsed the bull-shit there-on, had my coffee and such, toddled out for a smoke, encountered Mme. and the little ones. The sun is shining. It's going to be a hot day again. I need to take better photos of the Subaru and get that listed... TODAY! (As I think of the situation with that vehicle... the “crowd-funder” and the chaos associated with it, I suppose it might be best to have done with a sale/transfer.) - And so... another day commences. I slept last night (this morning). Not feeling “too” awfully this morning. Not “spiffy” but not “awful”. Time to roll on, I do suppose. -
11.41 SUBARU POSTED TO ADKCHAMPLAIN CRGSLST! 20 PHOTOS... 900. LOCATION. 802 PHONE. WELL? HERE WE GO!
22.17 Just out of the shower, work-clothes washed and dried. The shower curtain is in the washer for 45 minutes now. - Mme. left at about 17.15... just in time to dodge feeding the little ones. But... fine. No prob. - I went to the store with my quarters, of which there were 15$, got ice cream (which is what I had for “meal” today), crisps, and a bottle of lime tonic... which Deb scanned with-out trouble... as she always did. - Now, that said... THREE responses to the advert for the car. Two from California, wanting me to send them my name, address and account so they could “wire funds” to me. Another from PA, and THAT bitch just wouldn't let go with the “title” and a “report” and such. THANKFULLY, they're coming through on the 802 number AND CAN BE AND ARE BLOCKED! It's a wonder that I got the truck! And Corey should be thanking his fucking stars: I gave him no trouble, paid what he asked, drove off. I see trouble coming with this ordeal and finally... all of 50$ (if that) in the end. I'd LIKE it to be gone with-in the month. But I'm not being too hopeful. - Mme. confided today that her meeting with the “lawyer” is for her will. She's “wrapping up” with things she needs to get done... primarily because she wants to make sure that her kids get nothing when she's gone. Kris is the worst, as I understand. Lola next... and there's Ami and 2 more I don't know. But, she's determined to make certain they get nothing when she's gone. Good for her! say I. - She asked if I was going to mow between now and Sunday. I told her I wouldn't. She appears quite pissed about having to tell the Twats to move their vehicles... since they didn't this Sunday passed. Good! And as I pointed-out to her today the property damage they're inflicting. She compared them to Stanhopes. I compared them to Grisolms. She said they're not “that bad”. I pointed out that it starts some-where and worsens if not stopped... which she didn't bother to do with Grisolms and it cost her plenty. Let's see if that sinks in. (Kick WHO'S ass?) - Meanwhile... I have to report that I'm still not feeling “well”. Still quite tired. Napped twice today... deep sleep. And still light-headed. I wonder if it's asthma? I wonder if it's CA-Lung? I wonder if it's some kind of internal bleeding. I wonder why I wonder at all... since it makes no difference. But I can't help being angry simply because I want to see Dennis once more... I want the truck fixed so I can make the trip and see him... just once more. And now I have to be concerned with my health and whether or not I'll be well enough to make the trip... same day, of course. I just want to get there, see him, tell him about my 46 years with-out him, maybe give him a hug, get back into the truck and drive off. I want him to know that he's been so Loved all these years... and will continue to be so... at least until I take my last breath. I'd like to let him know that. (But I expect “Life” to be the shit it's always been and do all it can to prevent me from having my one, last and only wish.) - That said... time to turn the TV off, get the tonic from the fridge, pour a drink and get to some tele as the shower curtain washes (it was FILTHY again). Then... to HOPE for a night of RESTFUL AND REFRESHING SLEEP! (As if....)

Tue.17.Jul: 8.18 And “morning routine” is complete. Why so early? I've NO idea. - Got under the blankets at 1.35, thinking of what FACTS I'd like to tell the other 3, if ever we'd meet, face-to-face again in this life-time. Needless to say, there was a LOT of hollering in my head. The fact that they ALL got to stay at home until legal age whilst I was told, at 17, to get out and away before being “killed”. The fact that they ALL walked out of the house and directly into furnished flats, all preliminary costs paid, comfy, comfy. The fact they they ALL got their entire history turned to lies, telling people what a terrible mother they had and how they “miss” the old man, “he was so much fun”. The fact that they all raked in the cash when HE died as well as when Mum died. Yeah... their lives were SO difficult and miserable, and through all the years, I was as far away as possible... the only child and an orphan, for all intent and purpose. Ungrateful bastards. Anyway, that's how one day ended and the next began. - But being “lost” in the episodes of AbFab is wonderful. And I still can't quite wrap my old brain round the FACT that Bradshaw is dead, Zuri is dead... and the panic of Dennis dying before I get to see him, one more time. - And so, the 8.00 alarm sounded this morning, I got up, out of bed and when I came to the table, turned on the lap-top, the computer read 8.00. Time warp here? What-ever. - But the morning commenced immediately and now, coffee, breakfasts, smoke, loo... done. - It's grey. A slight drizzle. Looks like it's gonna storm at some point. I doubt it will though. We actually NEED the rain, so I doubt we'll get that. The plants are out though... just in case. What I'll do with the rest of this day is still a mystery. I'd like, of course, to go back to bed... preferably, to sleep. But... none of that. And I'm feeling more “two v-tons in” than much else. No doubt, soon enough, the “episode” will kick in and the light-headedness and difficulty breathing will set in. It's HOT, humid, and... another day. - But we have the fun of waiting for more shit messages about the car to come. Oh jolly-jolly. I'm thinking I'll type a few of those to post on soc.med. Just because. What-ever. - 12.44 This day is passing... quickly... and I'm doing NOTHING with it. Just woke from another nap of just over an hour. Didn't want to bother getting up but... - Plungered the kitchen sink though. It needed it. Probably because of me, but that's not the issue. The sink drain is cleared... again. AND... my washing is in. Bed-linens now. The “whites” will be done later. Noticed an “accident” in the under-drawers. It's been like that for a couple of weeks now, just sort of makes its own way out. I wonder what in actual fux name is going on with my body these days. No energy. Always nauseated to a point or degree. Light-headed. Hmmm... My days are counting down rapidly of late. And I'm no closer to going back to NY. “Life”... as it is, as it always has been... for me. - Moving along... toward... what-ever. - 22.56 ALREADY! And so much for ANOTHER “early” night. - Did nothing all day... almost quite literally. But I'm showered and all my laundry is done. To be honest, I don't really recall most of the day. I ate: made a flat dumpling (egg and flour, fried to make a bread-like something), 3 franks, a fried egg and some cheese. “Meal”. Had a bit of the left-over scrambled eggs after. And a bit of ice cream. Yeah, I ate. - Other than that? Nothing. It was drizzly for most of the day, then the sun came through and with it, HEAT! Tomorrow I'm planning on getting “work” done... floors, maybe some gardening-weeding. We'll see. - No replies on the car. If I could mow the lawn at the end of the drive, I could put the car there. I've got a 500$ sign for it. 900 on Crgslst, 500 if they just come and get it. - Thinking: By Friday, I'll have the truck fixed but no money for gas to go anywhere until 1 August. I'm thinking I could go see Dennis, check the cemetery. It's been YEARS since I was last there. Ev? Perhaps. It's a lot farther than it would have been in my younger days. Today I thought of how I'd simply get into the car, drive from The Bronx or Wappingers to Montréal in the same day and think nothing of it. What happened? Today, I'm so tired so often and so quickly. Ev will be in Waubeka until Labour Day... Monday, 3 August. If I'm to see her there... well... it doesn't look like that will happen, unless the car gets sold for gas money. (If not... then I can put the car money into an under-coat which is important.) I don't like the notion of driving to Queens to visit unless I can afford to stay some-where and make it a day there and the next back. I wouldn't even dream of asking to spend the night. Not any more. - Anyway... so much for this day. Eh? Time for a v-ton and a bit of tele. No munchies tonight. - Tomorrow is garbage. There are 2 bags already and the littler box to be emptied... another bag... not to mention my own. Oh well... That's tomorrow. Tonight's tonight. That's that.

Wed.18.Jul: 0.19 FUCKING FRANKLIN TEL AND THEIR FUCKING INTERNET!!! I disconnected the router to clear it when I'd done my soc.med., went for a smoke whilst it cleared and now, re-plugged it and... NO FUCKING DNS!!! So here I am, with a v-ton and no fucking tele! What bull-shit! - 0.50 I do believe I've just uninstalled my network adapter... NO FUCKIN INTERNET! I'M DEAD! - 0.58 Well, the lap-top re-started, the adapter re-installed and re-set... but there's not fucking Franklin Tel Internet. So... Let's see what happens after my nap. My v-ton's almost done anyway. - 8.00 STILL NO FUCKIN INTERNET! - OH... and it 19° in this room this morning. CHILLY! - 10.02 WELL.... FS INTERVIEW DONE BECAUSE SOME-HOW THE INTERNET RE-CONNECTED WHILST I WAS IN THE YARD... HAULING 6 BALES OF STRAW FROM THE GARDEN TO THE BARN... TAKING THE NASTY PLANT TABLE DOWN AND PUTTING IT INTO THE GREEN-HOUSE, PUTTING THE “EARTHY” PLANTERS ALONG-SIDE THE GREEN-HOUSE, UP-SIDE DOWN AND PUTTING THE FUCKING FLATS OF DAISIES ON THEM TO GET THE FUCKING TABLE OUT OF MY WAY (AS WELL AS THE FUCKING STRAW), FOLDING TARPS AND PUTTING OUT 3 BAGS OF GARBAGE. NOT BAD FOR 2 HOURS... AND ABOUT 4 HOURS SLEEP. WILL IT BE APPRECIATED? NAH! I'VE NO DOUBT THAT THERE'LL BE A SUDDEN NEED FOR THE STRAW... THE TABLE... AND SHIT-FUCK-WHO KNOW WHAT ELSE. BUT... THE BULL-SHIT IS OUT OF MY WAY AND THAT'S THAT. - I'm relieved to have the FS interview done though. - NOW... IF I COULD GET TO THE MOWING OF THE LAWN... THAT WOULD BE NICE... BUT... NAH... AIN'T HA'NIN. SO? TOUGH SHIT FOR SHIRL. - I guess I'll go get the fucking garage ready for the fucking fire-wood that's soon to come. Oh well... - 12.09...REGISTRATION STICKER AND DOC. FOR THE TRUCK ARRIVED TODAY!!! WOW! IT'S TRULY OFFICIAL NOW! FUCK. *** AND... NOT ONLY DID I GET THE YARD DONE... THE FIRE-WOOD FROM THE GARAGE IS NOW STACKED IN THE KITCHEN BY THE STOVE, THE GARAGE IS SWEPT AND IN ORDER FOR THE NEXT DELIVERY OF FIRE-WOOD, THE LITTER BOX IS CLEANED AND NEAT (and in the garage so that it won't be used immediately), THE FLOORS HAVE BEEN HOOVERED AND MOPPED, THE MAIL HAS BEEN RETRIEVED... *** AND ALL BEFORE NOON!!! *** Is it appreciated by anybody OTHER than me? HELLFUK NO. BUT... *I* know I've done it and it makes ME feel “accomplished” and quite proud. (I wouldn't waste a jolly fuck on the rest of the shit-bags in this town to say “fuck them”. Fucking shame though, that NONE of THEM ever see the “before and after”. Oh well... one day. - But seriously, to think: 1. Got the Internet back. 2. Got the back of the house weeded. 3. Got the green-house tidied. 4. Got the plant table down. 5. Got the garbage to the curb (3 bags)(they've been picked-up). 6. Moved 6 bales of straw into the barn. 7. Got my FS interview done. 8. Hoovered the floors. 9. Mopped the floors. 10. Fetched the mail. * And ALL in under 4 hours! Yeah... “I AM NY”. - 21.34 SHOWERED... IN JAMMIES... READY TO V-TON AND TELE!!! AND... ADD TO THE NUMBER LIST OF 10... 11. Weeded the lilies along the Highgate Street! And, “lopped” the box alder as well. ADD NUMBER 12. Weeded the 4th row of corn in the garden. HOW-EVER... I've left ALL of the weeds and cuttings and general shit on the lawn, where it landed when it got pulled. And I've done-so, intentionally... so that it can ALL be SEEN by as many people as is possible... including Mme. I went to the store for rolls, crisps and tonic earlier this evening and Deb said she saw me weeding the lilies. “You do good work.” says she. So she saw. BUT... I'm STILL leaving it all... until Sunday, if need be (to dry out before the limbs get hauled and the weeds get mowed... IF they get mowed on Sunday). - And so, the work clothes are in the wash. I'd sat in DOG SHIT whilst weeding the fucking lilies so... - I've got a “feeling” that it's going to be a “painful” night of spasms, but WHAT A DAY! SO much accomplished... to make up for all the weeks of doing almost nothing because of feeling on Death's door-step. - Tomorrow, I have to call CIBC to tell them to *Up My Limit* on the card, for purchases AND withdrawals, in case the fucking thing won't go through at Mike's. And then? Well, it's a matter of either trying to get about 1200 out in USD cash from ATMs or paying it all off as I can get the cash out, over a course of days. We'll see what happens. I'm going to have Mike give the card a try first. if that doesn't work, I'm rather certain he'll trust me to bring him the full amount (and I HOPE I'll have the full amount, even with-out the July instalment of soc.sec.). Time, once again, alone, will tell. - Today's “NOTE”: The 2 boxes that were left on the front porch for Mr. Twat are gone this evening AND the boards across the side porch that were put there because of the night-time “porch visitor” are down. SO! WE SEE who the little fucker is, who's been snooping round the front door at all hours. NOT, mind, that Mme. will do anything about that. And, as I type this, the stomping up there is atrocious. Well? Nothing I can (or should) do about it. Let her stew and seethe in her own self-created and sustained Hell. Ain't my bi'ness. - Now to see if there's Internet, turn out the lights and get into bed. It's a cool one tonight. Thankfully, I've still got my “OWS” canvass for just such evenings.

Thu.19.Jul: 0.46 I've had 3 v-tons (and they don't seem to be “hitting” at all) and a naproxen, was JUST beginning to “settle down” for the night when, at 23.30, Hallie came into the room, all wound-up. I let her out, thinking she had to pee, and when we came back in, I could hear the POUNDING ON THE FLOOR UP-STAIRS! KIDS RUNNING ABOUT, LITERALLY POUNDING THEIR FEET ON THE FLOOR UP THERE! - And so... went for the third episode of AbFab (to go with the 3rd v-ton). Moments after coming back in, Mimou came into the room as well. This fucking place. But when the pounding stopped, they both went back to “their room” or, at least, back into the house. - 9.21 dressed. Morning routine complete. Moved the truck back into the yard from the drive. I don't expect Mme. to be rolling in any time too soon, but, best to have things “settled”. - Feeling a touch “under the vodka” this morning. Combination of that and the “event” of last night. Not enough sleep. Although, I DID manage to sleep through the night after all was done. - It was rather chilly last night. I closed the porch door and put the heater on, taking no chances of “chills” and spasms. It worked. Too bad I can't just go back to bed though. More sleep would be most welcome. But then again, it probably wouldn't do me any particular good. My body has to recover from the “abuse” and, well, that takes longer, these days, than it used to. - Before bed last night, I checked the “conversion rates” for Friday's expenses. I've got a terrible feeling that I'm not going to be able to afford all the work. Not clear as to whether the cost of materials is the 970 quoted, plus the labour, or if the 970 was the estimate with labour included. If it comes to much more than 1100, I'll be quite screwed... until Wednesday. And even then, it will mean that, on Wednesday, I'll have to leave the soc.sec. on the card over-night, get up early on Wednesday and pull from an ATM. OR... get in the truck in the middle of the night and head to a banque ATM to pull it. It's going to be an interesting several days to come.. and some pretty slim weeks to follow since I'll be almost broke... again. Oh well. It's not as if “broke” is anything new to me. So much for any plans to do any travelling. - Meanwhile, at least the house is “settled” and there's MUCH evidence of MUCH work that's been done. Not, of course, that that will be appreciated at all... by anybody but me. - Moving along, I've got to phone the banque about my card limit. I'm just SO bloody tired! - 21.37 And at 16.00 we were on the road and the truck is now at the garage. HELP ME! I don't know that I have enough to pay the whole thing off and, of course, now the calculations are running amok in my mind and tearing at my guts. The only hope I have is that they'll let me pay-off the balance... on Wednesday. The bulk tomorrow and the balance on Wednesday. But... I HAVE TO INCLUDE HERE THAT Mme. HANDED ME 60$ “From the Shomali trip... for your help.” She says it's because I watch the house and the little ones and did so much work yesterday. Well? I'm not going to decline. After all, if there was a monetary value given to the general work done, it would come to considerably more than the room... and I don't consume much else. In fact, I DO contribute much more than I take from here. But that's really not the point here. I'm grateful for the extra. It probably won't cover the expense of the work on the truck, but I'm grateful. And, if all goes well tomorrow, there's 45CAD coming back to me when I get to Canadian Tire. Not much, but better than nothing. 2 packs of smokes at least. Then, Wednesday, soc.sec. (and I'm going to grab that from an ATM anyway at this juncture... and deposit it myself directly, saving me the fees and such... now that I can do that again). So? Just so long as Mike will let me pay-off any balance. - I DID manage to get the purchase limit increased on the card. I'll have to figure my max payment tomorrow. I'd prefer to give the cash up front at this point. But tomorrow will tell all. If the card doesn't go through, I'll just have to go to the ATM, get what I can, and that too, will probably fall short so... Only tomorrow will tell. - And this evening, we had a burger with fried crook-neck and zucchini. Very nice, indeed. AND I had a bit of ice cream with raspberries from the yard. THOSE are amazing this year. So far, the “harvest” has been the equivalent of what we'd usually get in QC... but FREE. A savings. And it was delish. - So now, we're all down for the night. V-ton and tele time. No munchies. But that's fine. Tomorrow is going to be busy with picking up the weeds and clearing the back porch for Mark who dropped by to say he'll be back on Saturday. And then... off to get the truck, and Mme. will be bringing hers in for oil change. Very nice. I suppose. And then Saturday... and then Sunday and hopefully lawn-mowing and moving the Subaru to the yard for sale. And Monday... Mme. says she'll be heading out by about 7.30 and gone until Wednesday on her road trip. She's taking her Yogi with... it was supposed to be me and Hallie but... no prob. No prob at all. “Time” will tell what's to be. - Time to wrap this all up now. Hopefully it will be a good night of restful sleep and tomorrow will be another “good” day. - One note: These Camels are causing congestion again. Time to seriously get rid of them... back to Players or something.

Fri.20.Jul: 0.38 and... at last, it's lights-out. - 9.25 Woke with the 8.00 alarm and decided there's no need to get out of bed yet because the weeds have to be picked-up and they're wet from last night's dew. So I just dozed a slight bit. Got out of bed at 9.00. So there. Feeling anxious as all Hell now because of the cost of the repairs on the truck. I HATE having to ask, barter, and the likes if I can't afford the entire bill. There's much of me that says that I'm not the first nor the only one to be in this situation, and that there shouldn't be any trouble. But there's no telling. I mean, after all, Mike used to make repairs and leave the vehicle, with bill on seat, for the Gliddens. But that was “then” and this is “now”, and that was “them” and this is “me”. “Anticipatory Anxiety”... I'm such a damned fool idiot. Oh... just move forward. That's all that can be done. All will be revealed in due course. - Sunny out there. There's also the porch that needs clearing. There's WORK to be done. Friday work, so that we may enjoy Saturday. Yeah... right... sure. - Moving along. - 13.40 Got the back porch cleared... CLEARED!!! Neatly stacked the shit in the barn... the barn that I cleaned-up as well, previously. Got the tree clippings onto the pile. Leaving the weeds to dry and be mowed... when/if ever that's to be. Re-potted the fuscia. And it's miserably HOT out there now. AND... I'm having another day of “EPISODE”... light-headed, woozy, and slipping “out of it”. Must have something to do with heat... I think. Although, I looked at the pee-bottle this morning and, over-night, I pee'ed out almost TWO LITRES! My intake wasn't that much all day. Hmm... curious. - Anyway... there's still the anxiety of today's “cash”. AND, I can't find the keys to the Subaru. Oh well. So much for today. - Stupid me: the keys to the Subaru are in the bag with the “Owner's Manual”. Makes sense, if anything does. - 20.23
***** THE REPAIRS ARE DONE!!! THE CARD WORKED PERFECTLY!!!!! AND I STILL HAVE ABOUT 500CAD/400USD IN THE ACCOUNT!!!!! ALL OF THAT ANXIETY OVER... WELL... “ANTICIPATORY” AS IT WAS, WORSE THAN THE ACTUALITY!!!!! I'd calc'ed 1500USD which, as of yesterday, would have been 1975CAD. ACTUAL: 1097,76USD (but 1495,59CAD). Jacquie and I got to Integrity at about 15.30 and the truck was still up on the lift: alignment. I wasn't at all upset. But when I asked for an “estimate”, they wouldn't say. So I waited with Jacquie... for her truck to be taken for oil change. And we waited and I ate my guts and intestines. FINALLY, the truck was done and I went to the counter, explained that, if the card didn't go through as a “Visa”, I could go to the banque and get cash. No prob. Then came the BILL!!! I looked, with my glasses off and saw the total and almost sank to the floor until I realised... IT WAS 500USD LESS THAN WHAT I HAD AVAILABLE!!! The card went through, the payment was made and... DONE!!! TRANSFER CASE, FLUID, TIE-ROD AND ALIGNMENT... DONE!!! I WAS ALMOST IN TEARS WITH RELIEF!!! *****
So I sat and waited with Jacquie, to keep her company, with Hallie and we left together. She followed me to make sure the truck rolled OK. Does it? Well, it's different from hers. It still sways a bit, but I think it's because I'm used to hers, and the aerodynamics of hers is different because of the cap. But, I'm FINE with it all now and will just have to adjust to it. I asked if it would pass inspection as is. “The rockers are a little jiggy, but yeah.” FINE! Next? Either tyres or a/c. But I think tyres come first... or radio... but tyres, assuredly. NOW... if I could get the fucking lawn mowed and the Subaru over to the street... but I'm not planning on that happening any time too soon. Fuck, I'm not even planning on being able to mow the lawn AGAIN, this week-end. Sunday is expected to be stormy. Tomorrow isn't likely to be “OKed” but the little tards above. So? So... when it DOES get done, it's going to cost Mme. more in gas because I'll have to mow twice... and slower. Fuck it. None of my concern. - And so, this evening, a beer with 2 franks, potato salad and refried beans. Food. Nice. And I've more tonic for tonight (and money for more vodka, though I don't need it just now) AND I've got crisps for tonight as well. I'm set! Tomorrow, I just might go to Canadian Tire to get the money back on the paints that are of no use to anybody and maybe get Players (so I can stop hacking and wheezing). I can afford SMOKES! - Anyway... it was a MISERABLY HOT day again today. And it's hot now. And I didn't shower after the work in the yard. I'll probably do so just before bed. What-ever. I'm just SO RELIEVED that the work on the truck is done and that the entire ordeal is DONE!!!! - 22.12 SHOWERED! THIS DAY IS DONE! Had a bit of ice cream avec framboises with Mme. this evening and she went off to bed, I, to the shower and now... the night is here and the day is done and all the anxieties are gone. - Tomorrow, Mark said he might be here round 8.00 so it won't be a “sleep-in” sort of day. Mme. is thinking of taking Hallie for a swim. I was supposed to join this week-end but I probably won't. Sunday... storms, perhaps. For me, perhaps a trip to Cowansville to get my money back for the paint. We shall see about that. - Meanwhile, it appears that Hallie has a mass of some sort on her right hind hip. Tonight, she went to scratch her ear and yelped a bit. Mimou is due for annual on the 17th August. It's quite the season for... “drama”, if I may say. - But the truck is back and in the drive by the garage and the repairs are done and PAID! It's time for a v-ton and some tele. I think I've gone through all the available AbFab. That's that, Countdown and Not Going Out. Time to hunt for something else I suppose. We'll see what's there. - WHAT A DAY! Just... WHAT A DAY!

Sat.21.Jul: 0.46 lights out after too much v-ton I'm sure. - 8.50 Woke at 6.00 to pee, heard somebody on the porch. Thought it was Mark. Closed the door a bit. Went back to bed to doze until the 8.00 alarm. Well... I'd “silenced” the phone so I didn't hear the alarm. Woke at about 8.20. It must've been Mme. on the porch at 6.00 and even now there's no Mark. But and in the meanwhile... yep... too much v-ton last night. It DOES help with the sleeping, DOES help with the spasms, but it's a bit of murder the morning after. Well? We can't have it all. But it looks like I did get almost 8 hours' sleep last night so, that's saying something. - As for today: I'll tell right now that I'd like, very much, to get the lawn mowed, the Subaru to the street. But I see THREE cars shoved into the end of the drive, like stoppers (which they are, indeed), for the Twats. Mowing? Highly doubted. BUT... IF the opportunity presents where-by I can get the Subaru to the lawn there, at ANY point during this week-end, mowed or not... it's going. The lawn will wait. The car will not. - Other-wise, I see me doing pretty-much nothing all day today. Tomorrow? Probably the same, unless I head to Canadian Tire... in the “storms” we're supposed to experience. Oh well... time here now to roll... I need the loo. - 22.30 House is settled. Nice “meal” of fish, crook-neck, beets and rice. Hopefully, the beets will do what they've done before and I'll be feeling better. - Another HOT day today. - “Accomplishment”? THE ONLY “accomplishment”? The Subaru is at the side-walk! I put the battery in, turned the key and ... VVVVRRRROOOOOM! Drove straight to the end of the drive and backed it up onto the lawn. My old “For Sale” sign is in front of it (the one I'd painted for the damned canoe) and the little sign I printed is on the dash. AND, it's posted TWICE on Crgslst: Under me and l'AtelierQcVt. 900 on the list, 500 on the sign. Let's see what's to come. I wanted it on the lawn for the week-end. Though, tomorrow is expected to be drizzly (starting at 5.00). We shall see. - Looks like no mowing AGAIN tomorrow. Drizzle AND the fact that she WILL NOT make arrangements with her little masters. Oh well... I told her it's going to cost her more in gas, and the strain on the mower's engine. She doesn't want to hear it? Fine... when the mower dies, it's going to cost her considerably more for repairs... if not replacement of the mower. None of my business. - As for tomorrow, I'm planning on bringing my paint back to Canadian Tire, a stop at the dép for smokes. She's got a mass and some sort of “do” after, in Enosburgh so she won't be here. But I need to get my money back soon and tomorrow seems best. I don't want to go when she's not here during the week, just in case something happens with the truck. So tomorrow it will be... it must be. - I think something's wrong with Mrs. Twat because her mother's car has been here for the past few days and Mr. Twat has been using her the “family” car. Haven't seen Mrs. since Monday or so. Hmm... suspicious. We shall see. - Received confirmation that my FS are to continue to 2020 now. Imagine. But no mention of how much. Probably the same shit. Oh well... better than nothing, I suppose. - Other-wise... that's about it. Mark never showed, nor called. The porch got cleared but... it's all “typical Vermont”: irresponsible, inconsiderate and, again, none of my business. I can't be bollocksed. - Time to wind-down. Not sure what I'll watch on “tele” tonight nor how much. We had a “Coke float” earlier and it was delightful. But a v-ton will be beneficial for sleep, I've no doubt so... no munchies but... off we go. I'm tired, the room is cooling. 11F down in the past 10 minutes. Nice. - Tomorrow will be what it will be. For tonight... it's hope for sleep.

Sun.22.Jul: 9.10 Just in from smoke, no rain, just grey. And feeling... “heavy” from sleep. Up thrice during the night: spasms. Not horrific, but enough to have to wake. Oh well. - Thinking “Cowansville”. Wondering “When?” Too tired to think of such things. No rush. No rush. - 10.02 Mme. left at about 9.30 and... well.. there we have it. - 13.45 Just up from a 2-hour nap... upon Mme.'s return and a short dream that involved the moving of the Subaru and the Twat's vehicle for mowing. Imagine... it's on my mind. - Had a bit of rain. The plants went out and are back in. And I'm still pondering Canadian Tire. I'm just tired at the moment but... - 21.26 JUST GETTING THE FUCKING LAWN DONE!!! GOT TO IT AFTER DINNER AT ABOUT 19.00 AND GOT ALL EXCEPT THE FRONT DONE!!! EVEN THE FUCKING ROW BETWEEN THE TOMATOES AND THE FENCE. AND THE MOWER STALLED ABOUT 4 OR 5 TIMES BECAUSE OF THE LENGTH OF THE GRASS AND THE WEEDS. BUT YOU KNOW? I DON'T GIVE EITHER A SHIT NOR A FUCK. AT THIS JUNCTURE... IF THE FUCKING THING DIES... LET HER FORK OUT THE CASH FOR A NEW ONE. NOT MY MONKEY. NOT MY CIRCUS. BUT... IT'S DONE! (And I've MORE than earned my fucking 25$.) - Anyway, now I get to wait for the fucking shower... and my v-tons and my crisps. And if I'm not awake when she leaves... tough shit. - There... - DID get to Canadian Tire today AND Walmart AND the dép. The refund at Canadian Tire went ever-so quickly and easily and so I browsed. Didn't shop. Went over to WalMarde and shopped there. *** NEW BEARD/HAIR TRIMMER ***, AND a COMFORTER for the truck (or the house, but mostly for the truck because I see me sleeping in it at some point in the rather near future when I get to the Hudson Valley... DENNIS... AND WAUBEKA). Listerine (for the clench-guard, mostly), dentifrice and shallots for Mme. At the dép, 4 packs of smokes, a Gatorade and Coffee Crisp. Didn't get back until after 17.00 and tough shit on that as well. The truck drives strangely, but I do think it's me and not the truck. And passing customs was quick and easy too. A delightful afternoon, all told. And the day passed. - “Meal” was a piece of chicken, a few beans from the garden, a bit of salad and couscous. Just enough to say “I sat. I ate.” nothing more. - BUT, I'm still rather amazed that the fucking lawn got mowed. Most of it... by moon-light. But... it's done, I did it... Remember that on the 1st. - Well... still waiting for the shower. Looking forward to tonight's tele of something and v-ton. And tomorrow morning? Hopefully she'll be GONE by 7.30 and MY time commences. Time to figure MY “road trip”. - 23.39 Showered and such and looked-up “Restraining Order” info. Tomorrow, I'll toddle to the court house... I came in, noted the lawn mowing, Mme. ended her phone chat and was ready for bed when I came from the room AND SHE TELLS ME THAT FUKWAD COOPER PHONED TO COMPLAIN THAT I'D MOWED GRASS ON HIS FENCE! YEAH? ENOUGH... I TOLD HER: RESTRAINING ORDER. AND INDEED... TOMORROW I'M OFF TO GET ONE. HELL. THIS IS GOING TO END, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. - Time for tele. I'm having my v-ton.

Mon.23.Jul: 9.21 Another rather late “to bed” at almost 2.00 this morning so I slept, or dozed, through Mme.'s leaving. Got out of bed at about 8.20, relieved to find a note on the table: “The kids have had breakfast”. I tried to get back to bed for a little while but, I'm up and that's that. So I've had coffee, loo, a smoke. Not in any hurry to dress. - Realised, last night, that I missed a whole swatch of lawn in the back yesterday. It's supposed to rain by about 11.00 this morning and if it doesn't or if I get me together before, I'll go back and finish it this morning. - Researched into the “Restraining Order” on Dickwad. I need to get the details together for the application. Meanwhile, surely, I'll leave him room to add another cause for need. But I DO know that he's merely playing, like some little retarded child, to annoy and aggravate. I'm not going to play with that shit, but I certainly AM going to go forward... I'll be inquiring at the store about how they had him banned from there, and work with that. The more information I can accumulate on him, the better. And the “Restraining Order” certainly won't do him any good. (Info reveals that he's about Jacquie's age. Imagine that!) - On with the day. I'm feeling a bit “ick” this morning. Woke to the pillows all “crunched and bunched” and a stiff neck, sore shoulders. Must have been a horrid night. - 10.15 and the lawn in the back is done... photos (many) taken... as a light drizzle begins. - 14.29 and just up from a 2-hour nap, of sorts. There's a little rain coming, at last. But it's miserably hot and humid. - This day is passing. And I just can't get my head together, some-how. I did get bed-linens washed though, and the little “bags” that I'd found on the porch when I cleaned there. The house needs cleaning though. I'll probably get to that tonight, when it's cooler... IF it gets cooler. Right now, I don't want to do much of anything at all. Nothing. Not even going back to sleep. I'm in a full sweat from the heat and the fan thermometer is registering 82F only. Ick. - 16.43 Finally got the energy to get up and get across the road to the PO AND....

THE TITLE TO THE TRUCK ARRIVED!!! AFTER ALL THE YEARS OF WANTING A TRUCK... AND TODAY, OFFICIALLY, I OWN ONE... AND I LUV IT! AND IT'S MINE! (Now... if I could just sell the Subaru... that would be PERFECT!)

In other events, my letter to Comercia Bank came back... “UAA”. What the actual fuck is THAT all about? I got the address from their web-site. So, it's a banque that posts a fake address? Suspicious, to say the very least. This world... is shit. - 22.11 I just spent the past 6 hours re-arranging this little fucking room! Moved boxes, pulled the “door table” from the white room in, put the chest of drawers into the white room, got boxes up off the floor, Hoovered, shoved things about on the “work table”... and I don't like the way it is now because the fucking table sags on the side where the lap-top is now. I'll probably have to exchange the tables tomorrow... there's a better one in the white room. But for right now, at least i can get to the bed and that's what I was working toward. I'm a fucking sweat-ball now too. But, a shower is coming. - Meanwhile, I see Mr. Twat and the little one out in the back yard... “looking for worms”. Fishing tomorrow? How charming. I wonder what will be dug up at sun-rise... since it's “their yard”. Honestly, that old woman is ... well, she just is. I have to focus on getting the truck running properly and getting me the fuck out of here... especially before the cold sets in! - Anyway... it's been “productive” today. I feel a bit guilty because of the little ones. They didn't get much attention all day. For most of it, I was too damned tired. Then came this work. I'll have to make quick business of it all tomorrow and spend some time with them. They're in “their” room... for the night. - Time for a shower and v-ton and tele and... fuck it!

Tue.24.Jul: 12.22 It was lights out at 1.26 and get-your-arse-up at just after 8.00. Jump, jive and pee, coffee, breakfast for the little ones, get the recyclables out to the curb, a quick loo and... HAVE AT THE FUCKING TABLE IN THE ROOM... I haven't even had my 2nd coffee yet! Non-stop working. Of course, the old table didn't come out as easily as it should have done, nor did the replacement go in as easily as it should have done. It was in fact, a “pain” in parts and such, chest, legs, back, etc. AND... I'm only JUST finishing... table, sorting, tidying, Hoovering the house (AND THE FUCKING KITCHEN IS LOADED WITH FUKING FLIES!!!! THIS FUCKING SHIT-HOLE). But, all's rather settled, save the little “notes” and stuff. But the general room is re-settled. There's a bit more space in here too. Sadly, some of the useless window is behind boxes. But it's useless anyway. I can't help but think of how, when I mentioned the “stale odour” in here, just the other day, the old thing wrinkled her face in agreement BUT SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE FUCKING ROTTING GARBAGE OUT-SIDE THE WINDOW THAT SHOULD BE OPEN FOR VENTILATION. SHE'S TRULY QUITE RETARDED IN SO MANY WAYS. (If you mow on Monday, you'll have to move YOUR truck! - Yeah? Fuck you! YOU don't do fuck-all-shit about your fucking little Twats getting out of MY way to mow YOUR lawn so fuck yourself. - I'd open the window if I could but I'm not going to breathe rotting garbage and flies. - I know. I bought them that new garbage bin but they won't use it. - You're a fucking idiot, a repulsive, sickening idiot.) Anyway... - I think I might get a trip to Metro in a bit later. I need laundry soap, perhaps Crustinis for dinner, tonic... stuff. Smokes too, of course, But there's another coffee to be had, a bit in the washer already. Maybe in about and hour or so. - I want to be out of and away from here! - (I should probably ring Ev too.) - 22.16 and 82F on the fan... I'm just out of the showers and DRENCHED IN SWEAT AS I SIT HERE, SHIRTLESS!!! FUCK. Final wash on the spin. EVERYTHING washed. Good thing. I suspect Mme. will be returning tomorrow at some point during the day. (Fucking shame... I have ice cream, from Metro... nasty as it is... in the freezer. Will HAVE to share. What-ever. I don't actually like it anyway.) And as for that point... the ice cream, at about 15.30 I finally took my shower, put my work clothes in to wash and by 16.09 was on the road to METRO! Interestingly, I had to do the “remote” customs this trip. How strange it is, but now I'm familiar with it so, if ever again, no prob. And at Metro? Cursitinis, ice cream, tonic, cheese and 2 more packs of smokes. (They're about 1$ more at Metro than at the dép in Cowansville. Good to know.) Oh, and poutine-falvoured crisps (I got 2 bags... one for me and one for...) Looking forward to trying THAT! And so, I was in the store, got my purchases and was out the door and on the road back. U.S. customs? Young, “darkish” gal... obviously “newbie”. No actual trouble to speak of but inquisitive about why I went to Metro for food. Still, no horror searches. By 17.15 I was back in the house, feeding the little ones and me. How WONDERFUL! No special side trips, no bull-shit. Just there, shop, back, as I like to do. - Mark showed up tonight and from what I gather, he's going to charge an hour per window. Well, he's got another one to re-do because when he finished painting this evening, he closed them all! THAT'S MY ONLY VENTILATION! SO... I OPENED THEM, AND ONE STUCK (the one he never repaired) and CRASH! A PANE BROKE! (I had to pull the rest of it out, smash it down to put it into a box and then sweep and Hoover the porch. The fucking glass shards were ALL OVER THE PLACE! Primary reason why I showered and did wash: SWEAT!) A NOTE: HE FELT IT HIS DUTY TO COMMENT ON THE CONDITION ON MY TYRES, “DON'T DRIVE TOO FAR. DON'T DRIVE TOO FAST. DON'T DRIVE IN RAIN. DON'T TAIL-GATE.” When he said “Don't tail-gate I said, calmly “I wasn't taught to drive in Vermont, I learnt in NY and we don't tail-gate there; it's illegal.” No further comment. NEXT: I mentioned that I'd offered to paint the windows but Mme. said “I'll get somebody”. The response? “OH, YOU HAVE TO LEARN THE TECHNIQUE AND IT'S REALLY NOT ALL THAT EASY.” HONESTLY? They really ARE all alike: They DO MUST MAKE OTHERS APPEAR INFERIOR TO THEM SO AS TO MAKE THEMSELVES APPEAR SUPERIOR IN SOME FASHION. To presume to instruct me on proper driving, then painting windows... as in, paint them, close them and don't repair the frame so another pane breaks... Yep.. But then... he inquired about Dikwad Cooper and when I told him of recent events he replied “He's just hateful... nothing but hateful.” So... there's another on the roster of those in the know. (Mme. said, in a text today, that she's not going to be so neighbourly with him. Yeah... HAHAHAH and LMFAO. Fucking liar, that one. ANYwaaaayyy...) - And so, dinner was filling, 4 Crustinis and a bit of cheese. The rest of the evening went by. We went for our walk and round the garden in the back. At about 21.15 I brought Minou in. He wasn't happy and I had to verbally scold. But all is calm now... all is fine. I'm having my v-ton, the clothes are in the dryer. - I'm nervous about tonight's soc.sec. posting. I've purchases I'd like to make on the card, the “logo/emblem” for the truck, gas, vodka... and I'll deposit the cash m'self this trip. But there's the cost of the ATM to get my money! AND... the time I'll have to leave the money on the card (unless I go in the middle of the night to the banque, which I don't want to do.) This is all just so much bull-shit. As of now, I'm planning on: I'll make the emblem purchase in the morning, on-line, unfortunately, then zoom to the banque to extract as much as possible via ATM (since these in-breeds won't do so at a teller window, as the fake banque of the card claims they will). Then do my little purchases (like gas). Then go to MY banque and deposit. Quite the day tomorrow. We shall see. - Now? V-ton and tele time! - This day is almost fucked.

Wed.25.Jul: 8.22 It as lights-out at 0.58 this morning, fan on full, on top of the covers, sweating like an old hog. At some point during the night, a SPASM woke me, so I covered with the table-cloth, turned the fan speed down and went back to sleep until just before 7.00 when I woke, with-out the alarms. By 7.22 I was up, coffee, in the kitchen, breakfast served. Check the soc.sec. (same shit, different month) and to the loo. Now, the garbage is at the curb and I'm dressed... and my body feels “drained”, my insides humming with the agenda of the day: Buy the “Silverado” emblem, get to the banque, pull the cash, a few errands and wondering if I should simply order tyres and keep the cash or... put the cash into the banque and take it from there. Also, driver's license due next month. My head won't focus. It's going to be another “Just roll.” sort of day. AND... Mme. is due back at some point. Yeah... not a great day. - But the sky is grey and “storms” this after-noon (if only). Here we go. - At least last evening's temp-fillings are still in. There's that. - 12.29 DONE! with my errands, and now to fill the wind-shield fluid and mow the front so I can park. - 12.53 OK! Mowing done and I'm in a fucking SWEAT! SHIT! - BUT SO... I was out the door by about 10.45 or so, took the “”Lake Road” and the 108 into Enosburgh, to avoid the rotten 120. First stop, TD... 860 off the card (and a fucking 3,00 CHARGE FOR “THE PLEASURE”). Left 16,38 on the card... Across the road to the Shell station and 15,00 in gas into the truck, leaving 1,38 on the card!!! DONE! Next stop... ACE hardware for a new little Mag-lite for the spare key. Good to have handy and... little Mag-lites will always remind me of Lou. Also, wind-shield washer liquid. Out the door and to the Bev. Centre where the bottle return was closed! BUT... I got another (1) bottle of vodka anyway. I mean, it's not as if I'm pressured into doing everything today anyway... I don't have to wait for transport! YAY! (Again, at last.) And so, that done and not wanting to spend more money or gas... I headed back to the “home”. Nice drive, that 108. Not perfect, but a bit better than the 120. And only about a mile or so more. Still, it's better on the truck... fewer bumps. - Walked in the door, checked the card balance. Of course... everything's gone. But I'm relieved because MY money is in MY possession! Attached the Mag-lite to the key, headed out the door, filled the wind-shiled washer and got on the mower... VROOOM... done. And the truck is back in front of the garage. Honestly, it still makes me nervous because I just see that old fuck come roaring into the drive and clipping MY truck. Well... I'll be reporting it, should she do so. No patience. No “understanding”. No tolerance. Treat her as she treats me: with-out respect. Hit my vehicle? You'll pay... one way or another. - And so, I'm finally cooling down a touch. Having my cheese (from yesterday's journey) on the last roll. - No word from the old thing about ETA or such. Not that I expect any. It would be “considerate” and that's something she's not familiar with. - On with what-ever's left of this day... until it's time to go back to sleep. Enough... and I'm glad I have my money and all that I wrote on my list... except the bottle returns, is done. - 22.33 and the house is still... all are just going to bed. AND THERE'S RAIN FALLING! ACTUAL RAIN! MAY IT LAST THROUGH THE NIGHT! - Mme. returned round about 18.30 and came in, poured wine and we chatted a bit.

***** BUT... SHE WENT INTO A BIT OF A TIRADE ABOUT DIKWAD: “I CAN'T TELL ANYBODY WHAT TO DO, BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO HIM OR BOTHERING WITH HIM! WHAT HE'S TRYING TO DO IS GET US FIGHTING SO BAD THAT I'LL HAVE TO THROW YOU OUT. THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS, HE WANTS YOU OUT OF HERE!” I ASK “BUT TO WHAT END? WHAT PURPOSE?” SHE REPLIED “BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HE IS!” “BUT WHAT WOULD IT GIVE HIM?” “HE THINKS I'LL BE DEPENDENT ON HIM AND HE'LL GET CLOSER TO ME.” “AND THEN WHAT?” “NOTHING! HE JUST WANTS YOU OUT OF HERE!” I can't help but remember that that's pretty much what Lyle said he's like. As Mark put it: He's just pure evil. SO, IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE THERE REALLY *IS* APPRECIATION FOR WHAT I DO HERE. THERE ARE TOUGH MOMENTS AND TIMES, BUT APPARENTLY, I'M *NOT* ALL AS BAD AS THINGS SOME-TIMES MAKE ME THINK I AM. SHE SAID “JUST MOW THE LAWN AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU *DO* GET GRASS ON HIS DAMNEND FENCE!” WELL? THERE WE HAVE IT (FOR NOW, ANYWAY). STILL, IT WAS A SURPRISE TO HEAR... ESPECIALLY RIGHT AWAY ON HER RETURN FROM BEING AWAY.

At 20.00, I took the little ones out for the stroll and came back in to find her in her room, sitting on the bed, crying. I don't know what happened but she made a brief reference to “Even Christians can be not so nice.” Something must have happened to sour her trip a bit. I don't know what, but it'll probably come out eventually. - And so, the evening rolled into the night and here we are. - Good thing I finished my cheese and that roll earlier. And I fried the rest of it with an egg at about 17.00. “Intake” for the day. And there are some crisps left... for v-ton... in a few moments. - So... and so... the rain seems to be letting up. Hopefully it'll kick back in through the night. Tomorrow, Hallie has a 9.30 appointment at the vet and then... Not sure what she's going to do with the rest of the day but she's got something on Saturday and Saturday evening she's taking her Lis to Enosburgh to see “Oklahoma”. Sunday, she's planning on going to church and other-wise... she said tomorrow's her only “free” day. We shall see... we just shall see. - Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the “new arrangement” of the room. AND, the temperature has come down to 70F. Not “cool” but, after the high 80s and 90s... it's very welcome. And tomorrow, I won't HAVE to be up at 8.00 so... Time to wrap this day up. It was a good one. - OH! Two young guys stopped to look at the Subaru this evening. Nothing came of it, but it was noticed. Let's see what happens from here, there... My patience is running thin quickly. I'm almost tempted to just call and have it towed... even for 25$. But it's been listed not quite a week and only but a couple of days on the lawn. We (again) shall see.

Thu.26.Jul: 9.20 And after another 1.00-something morning... I did get to sleep-in this morning. Just in from my smoke. Hallie's off to the doctor, the world is WET from last night's RAIN AT LAST, and the phone is ringing already. But there's nobody home. If given the opportunity, I'd go right back to sleep this morning. - 9.57 and morning loo is done. Time for 2nd coffee. - I have an “agenda” today: There's a place in St-A. that sells the tyres I want (I think), so I'll be off to there to check. Re-newing my NRA member-ship for another year. Returning the empties and, perhaps, getting another “back-up”. But, as for the tyres, the sooner, the better. I'd like to get to Waubeka to see Ev... Newburgh to see Dennis. But with the tyres as they are, I don't dare. For local runs, they're OK, I suppose, but the notion of being stranded, tyre-changing and the likes some-place between the Canada border and the Hudson Valley isn't, at all, appealing. I'm “old”. Anyway... On with the day. - I also have to get these 16 pages of off-line Journal posted. - PS: Wordpress shut my “CV” blog down. They say it was because of some sort of application that I shared my blog with. Apparently somebody hacked into it and effectively destroyed it. I have to wonder: “relatives”, or the soc.sec. admin, some other branch of finance or govt.? I've pissed SOMEBODY off... good me! Lettem ROT! - 10.28 Hallie's back from the doctor. They didn't find anything wrong in her ear and the lump on her right "shoulder" is "fat". She's gained a pound since her last visit so they're putting her on a diet of only tinned food for a month. Well, at least it's nothing serious. Good news for the day. - 10.58 already and the monthly on-line is up-dated... Sadly, I also up-dated the FileZilla shit and... it's lost my remote bookmark. There's always something to fuck things up. - 22.42 Showered and ready for V-TON! BUT... the day. Well, I went into St-A's this after-noon. The guy was pleasant enough, but advised that I should change ALL 4 TYRES at the same time because not doing so will “mess with the transfer case”. WELL! I JUST had THAT replaced so I'm NOT about to mess about with it. THEN he tells me what I've rather already known: I can't get the exact tyres that are on the truck because Cooper makes those specifically for certain retailers! “Costco”, Sears, and the likes. The substitutes? 30$ MORE than the ones on the truck! 176$ EACH! 760$ FOR THE WHOLE JOB! And I've got 800$ from this month's soc.sec. FUCK ME! I could get the tyres, but won't be able to run the truck... even to Enosburgh. So... I'll have to see if I can't find a place where I can get the tyres I have, and then wait to see about getting them mounted and installed. Fuck me again. Oh well. At least I CAN get them, eventually and I DO have the truck. I can't whine. If I could sell the car... THAT would cover everything nicely. So that settles that. - Next... bottle returns for 1,08$. Woopie? Yeah. What-ever. I didn't get the extra bottle of vodka though. It's not necessary and so, it can wait. - Off to Walmart for the car shampoo. Didn't get it, they didn't have it. But I got a bottle of that “Chem Guy” or something like that. I remember it being recommended as “leather scent” or “new car”. It does smell a bit like leather, so I got it. Not cheap. But... And 2 little plastic cases, one for the iPod for the truck, since the radio really is a bit of shit. (It works... but the front speakers aren't connected. When the weather cools, I'll attempt that, but at 35°. nope.) - I was SO HUNGRY by then and in the mood for KFC, but looking at the place, empty parking lot and dark, I opted, instead, for the McD's. Well! It's hit: touch-screen ordering. AND... bi-lingual: SPANISH! FUCK! As if there's a call for that shit up here. Makes me sick! Anyway, 20 McFukkitz and chocolate shake and I was OK. - On the road back, I recalled getting that shampoo at a “Dollar Store” so I decided to try Dollar General... in Enosburgh. It gave me an opportunity to drive the truck a bit more, to get adjusted to it. And yes, indeed, there it was! So, I got that, and another packet of those “pine tree” air fresheners for the room. (One's up... smells “clean”.) And back to the house... by almost 17.00. - Mme. was in. She went to the store, bought a frozen pizza which she “doctored” with fresh basil, green pepper from the garden. I had about 2 slices. Was offered more but, I was fine at that point. Oh, and a rum and Coke with. Imagine that! - “Meal” done, I went out to shampoo the truck nicely. It's FILTHY! Went through almost the whole can. But of course, the fucking sprayer fucked-up and some of the contents were relatively wasted. Still, the end results are wonderful. The thing smells “show-room fresh”. I'm impressed. (I might give a spray to the Subaru... just for the schitzengiggles. WTF? Why not?) - THEN... the NEWS du jour: Pammie and Davie stopped by, sat in the kitchen... AND THEY SPOKE WITH ME! Dave confirmed the 4-tyre change and we chatted about cars of our youths. Pam wanted info on the Subaru... for her nephew (Mme. informs he's related to the laRoses of Enosburgh and he likes tinkering with cars). “Interest”. I can only hope. When I said I wanted 500 for the car, she found that reasonable. Dave said the parts alone would bring in more that the cost We shall see. I won't get hopes up at all. I know, too well, what folks are like round her. But... - Mark came by to paint a window or two. Made his “work” sound SO much more complicated and involved than it is. But that's “Vermont”. Wasn't too thrilled about the broken window but I don't care. He wanted me to drive his vehicle tomorrow because he's going to pick up another. I said I didn't know if I'd be around at the hour. He accepted that. (Truth? I don't want to be of any help. Not to others round here.) - And... Pam commented, as they were leaving: “The Ponderosa looks beautiful! You do wonderful work.” Nice, to be noticed and complimented... especially by somebody who won't acknowledge my existence in public in town. - Anyway and none-the-less... that was the day. Another HOT and HUMID one at that! The “bad” news: No munchies tonight. But I can live with-out. Just so long as I have my v-ton. - And so, the fan registres 77F but the humidity makes it feel worse. The day is done. I have to look (again) for my tyres, but now have to think in terms of 4 instead of 2. Oh well. Things will move along. They always do. And the day passed with-out conflict. So there's something positive to be said. - Tomorrow? Tyre-hunting, The important thing. At least the truck is cleaner, inside. Very nice indeed. (I'll have to figure how to increase the volume on it though. I can't hear the iPod with the windows open.) - For now... wrap-this-shit-up time. At least I've showered (and am sweating again anyway).

Fri.27.Jul: 2.42! REALLY! THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO STOP! BUT... the GOOD news is: I FOUND THE TYRES! IN ESSEX (VT)! The not-so-good news is: I can afford to get them, but it'll leave me with just about 200 to my name for the entire month of August. Not enough to put enough gas into the truck to actually GO any-where. Oh well... Once again: SO CLOSE and yet so far away. - 10.00 Cool. Grey. The slightest drizzle. But the after-noon is forecast to return to the HEAT! - I don't recall having heard the alarm at 8.00 and so, woke at about 8.55. So prob. Nothing on the agenda that MUST be done (since there's no getting tyres today). Mme. was already up, in the kitchen, grating zucchini for bread. (And this fucking program STILL won't accept the word “zucchini”... dumbshit.) - We've already chatted. I've had coffee, loo, 2 smokes. And my stomach is all “off”. No munchies and two v-tons. NOT very bright of me. Nothing can be done about it. Just let it pass. As usual, I'd like to go back to bed... to sleep. It's comfy cool and grey, perfect for a snooze. But no. There's a day to pass. I'm a bit relieved about having found the tyres. Now, if only somebody would come along and get the car, that would be delightful. “Delightful”, there's the guarantee that it won't happen. Oh well. - 14.20 WELL! Let's start with: It was about 13.45, she comes to the door of the room to announce that she's going to open the air-conditioner and “I might need a little help.” Fine. I was working on figuring the expense of the new tyres AND a text with somebody enquiring about the Subaru. OK. At the same time, I was sorting through my little “tote”, trying to find that extra key, which I still don't know the purpose of, and... AND... I FOUND 130$ IN IT! 6x20 and 2x5! I've NO idea where it came from or when I got it but it's been in there all along! YAY ME! Add it to the 800 left from this month's soc.sec. and... I'VE GOT TYRES... and not much more. BUT STILL... I'VE GOT TYRES! - Anyway, I stroll into the kitchen and as I'm standing there, DAVE comes in the door. I thought it was a carry-over visit from last evening only to learn... SHE PHONED HIM TO ASK HIM FOR HELP WITH THE A/C! WTAF? SERIOUSLY! WTAF? I HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS COMMON, TYPICAL AND TO BE EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR OF THESE IN-BREEDS: ALL IN LINE WITH MAKING OTHERS LOOK INFERIOR OR SOME-HOW “LOWER” (as in Dikwad's “lazy bastard”... due, I've NO doubt, to some bull-shit she spoon-fed him about me) SO AS TO MAKE THEMSELVES, AT LEAST FEEL “SUPERIOR”! QUNT TO THE 100TH POWER, THAT OLD SHIT-BAG! Well, I'm letting that go... to a point. Anyway, at present, the a/c is still in the front hall, she's gone to Swanton to get and extension cord, and in the meanwhile, I'VE GOT A QUOTE FOR THE TYRES! (With the 100 I get for the mowing, it leaves me with about 400, if I include what's in the banque. Not really enough for a trip to the Hudson Valley.) I'm seriously thinking though, that I need the tyres and whilst I DO have the money, I really SHOULD get them done! At least this way, if I have to leave here for any reason, I have transport. License is good through August. Inspection good through October. TYRES are good for not so many miles more. TYRES it is! - OK, that settled, one other note of this morning: She's back on the “The lawn won't need mowing until NEXT week.” I repeated: It should be done weekly, the mower stalled-out on me 3 times this past Sunday because of the lawn being ignored for 2 weeks, but, if the engine burns out, YOU'LL be the one paying to have it towed for service and YOU'LL be the one paying for the repairs or replacement and I can't give a fuck any longer, I've repeatedly told you that it's strain on the mower if the grass is too high, but you insist on being spineless when it comes to simply telling those shits up-stairs that you want YOUR property maintained, it's too much trouble to tell them to move their vehicles ONCE a week for a few hours. So? It's no longer my concern nor responsibility. You do what you want. I can't give a fuck any longer. - There. Done. - And now, I've called for the quote on the tyres. I actually CAN afford them now and so I should. When the Twats pay the rent next week (probably Thursday, earliest), and, if I can live off the 20 I have to the side, I can add the 100 to the 900 I have and be off and running... new tyres by, perhaps, Friday. How I'll figure in a trip after that... unless the car gets sold meanwhile, will be something to ponder. Well? I can't “hope” the car goes during the week. But it's something to ponder... I suppose. - I need something to eat and a nap. - 16.23 Her air conditioner is in the window... Dave came back after she returned from Swanton, where she paid 30$ for an extension cord, which now runs from the bed-room, through the closet (hole in the wall) to the living-room. Never mind, just changing the outlets. Oh well. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS: I CAN'T OPEN MY WINDOW, CAN'T PUT THE FAN IN, BECAUSE SHE WON'T EXERCISE THE AUTHORITY TO HAVE THE ROTTING GARBAGE REMOVED FROM DIRECTLY UNDER THE WINDOW... BUT SHE GETS AN AIR CONDITIONER FOR HER ROOM. YES, INDEED, BETWEEN THAT AND CALLING DAVE TO ASSIST WITH THE STUPIDITY, MAKING ME LOOK WORTHLESS... THE EVIL EXUDES FROM EVERY PORE. FINE... EVIL IS REPAID, IN DUE COURSE. ONE DAY... ONE DAY. - 16.49 2,39 each outlet at ACE and 49-cents each on Amazon in a package of 10 for 4,90. I've sent the links via e-mail. Point made. NOT my monkey. NOT my circus. - 20.42 At about 18.30 or so, I went to the store, got a “half” sandwich: turkey, provolone, mustard, bag of crisps for tonight and some creme-filled pastry thing and managed to make it back in, un-detected. Mme. was in the garden doing something or another. So, I ate... to say so, watching a sea video. When done, I decided to “nap”... Some moments after I'd begun to drift off, pound, pound, pound on the door. “Is anybody home?” she yelled. I didn't bother to reply and she went away, and I drifted off to sleep. Just woke. Just in from a smoke. I'm still a bit tired, but we'll see if I go back to sleep soon or what-ever. - She was in the living-room whilst I smoked. And I just heard the kitchen door open. Care? Nope. Just so long as she let's Mimou in, I don't care what happens round here. We shall see. - Other than that, the night is beginning. The sun is setting early again already and besides, it's almost time for the world to sleep anyway. - Tomorrow, she's got some “shower” to attend and tomorrow evening, a night of “theatre” in Enosburgh. Jolly good for her... and for me. - Meanwhile, I'm seriously considering making the appointment for Monday at NTB. Tyres. Money wil be tight again, but I've gone so long with none that it shouldn't present any trouble. Next income will be on the 22nd August. Not too bad. Still gives me time to drop by to see Ev... if she's in Waubeka through Labour Day. I thin I can handle the shortage. Besides, MAYBE before then, I can get rid of the car. “Time” will tell. Funny though, that Monday (the 20th), she's heading to CT for another “Jesus Trip”. What-ever. None of my concern nor business. My trip is a “same day” so it won't be a matter of making certain the little ones are attended. They'll get fed... a little late, if I decide to go before she returns. Plans to be made, I should think. My birthday is the week of the 27th (Mon) through (Fri) 31st. I could go on Thursday... should she be back. Plans to be made. - At this moment, the sandwich seems to be pushing about in the bowels. Oh... always something. - 23.44 And so the house is still. They all went to bed at about 22.00 and me? Well, after all the “nap”, yes, I'm a bit tired but I had music that I needed to edit and such for the iPod. 13 more songs to add. I wonder if there's space on the old iPod. We'll see, tomorrow. At least it's cooler right now. - She put the little fan in the living-room window. Air conditioner in her room. Glad SHE gets her coolness AND fresh air circulating. That's what matters... period. It's all about HER. Although, I should know well-enough by now that the only way to do what's best for ME is to simply do it. After all, that's the way of “life” here, in this cesspool of in-breeds. How I miss intelligent conversations about news, global events, baroque music... music, literature, intelligent conversation. - Looking forward to next week and new tyres. Then, I DO believe I'll take my birthday and do what's best for me: my road-trip. Hopefully all will go well. We shall see about that too, when the time arrives. - Right now, I do believe it's time to wind this day down and wrap it up. It's going for Shabbat... a day of “rest”. And, FTW. It should be a good day... Mme. will be “occupied” and “away”. - V-ton time!

Sat.28.Jul: 8.58 and there you have it. Almost 9.00 and I'm only just getting out of the bed, having gone to sleep at 2.15 this morning. So, on this sunny Saturday morn, to all the world I say “FUKKIT. FUKKYOO! FUKKALL!” Yes, I heard the 8.00 alarm. Yes, I did turn it off. And yes, I did go back to snooze. And no, I don't give a shit. Oh, and yes, I DID have a bit too much v with my ton... again. But I slept through the night with-out any leg spasms. So again, fukkit, fukkyoo and fukkall. - And now, on this merry note... on with this fukking day! - 9.16 I no sooner got those lines typed when Hallie went to the yard, barking. An old Lincoln pulls in, full of folks. They'd come to see the car. And there I am, with a cigarette and a bit of a “not quite awake yet”. Well... “I got a friend who wants a car and he wants a Subaru.” Fine. Well, they were polite enough. (I have to wonder: Will I be blessed on this Shabbat with a sale? Business on the Sabbath. But it would be a blessing.) So, they leave, I step into the kitchen and have to listen to “What did they say?” Well, if they'd said they wanted it, I'd be running amok trying to print a sales receipt! (Which is something I have to get done... TODAY... when she's gone.) In a way, I hope the car bothers her. The Twats park all over the place, making things difficult, blocking the drive. Nothing's said. It's Hell to get them to simply move their vehicles (which isn't necessary in the first place anyway) for lawn care. So? FUCK ALL Y'ALL... MY vehicle sits where it is until I get some money out of it... I need tyres for my truck and there's my potential income. End of story. - I'd like to either shit my guts out right now, or vomit them up. A lovely day, this. - 21.53 And so I've passed yet, another day. Accomplishments? None, really. Added more music to the iPod. For what? No clue. But it's on there. 1505 tunes. 4,6 days, non-stop, no repeats. How charming. - Mme. left at 18.30. I heated and ate the left-over tortellini (oh look, that word is in the dictionary on this shit soft-ware, but I still can't get it to take zucchini ... or wait... it's finally on, well well). Strolled to the store for crisps for tonight and more tonic. But I don't think I'll be enjoying any of that tonight. I'm really too tired right now. - Mme. hasn't returned as yet. To think: I could have made a wash, taken a shower. Just too tired. Just too tired. And so I'm sitting here, getting ready to put on the jammies and hit the sack, as it were. Never mind all the rest. It's time for a nap... hopefully for the night. I'm just too tired. - Tomorrow is supposed to be clear, and, of course, hot again. Mowing? I'm not going to worry. If I can get to the back yard, that's fine. That's the grass that grows thickest anyway. The rest? Fukkit. And why worry about any? I want the extra 100 next week. It'll help with gas money. And with new tyres, I just MIGHT travel... to where, I've no idea. But at least, if the mood strikes, I'll be able to do so. - For now, it's time to wrap things up. - My sinuses feel irritated. The roof of my mouth feels irritated. And I feel tired and fed-up. - She'll get back when she does. Nothing I can do to control any of it and nothing I want to do about it anyway. - How nice for her: fan in the living-room, air conditioner in the bed-room, off and toddling about, free of all cares, concerns, responsibility. Well, my turn will come. Indeed, it will. - For now... this Saturday is done.

Sun.29.Jul: 502: Up and dressed and the sun's not even up yet. Indeed, the “Autumnal” days are approaching. WHAT ever happened to the “Summer” mornings of sun-shine at 5.00? Time... it truly passes quicker as we grow older. - Oddly though, I woke at 4.44! Rolled over, looked at the time and there it was. Woke once at about 1.45 and thought that a stupid time to wake and dozed off. But, at 4.51, I decided to get up. Why? Don't know, really. Hopefully I'll get to sleep tonight as I did last night: just tired enough to simply go to bed and to sleep. Tomorrow I need to be awake and about. There's a drive on the agenda. - Meanwhile, feeling none the better for the night's sleep. Woozy and a bit “tight” in the chest. Anxiety? Stress? Who knows? - Mme. rolled in at 22.46 last night. Didn't make too much racket, and was in bed rather shortly there-after. Okey-dokey then. - Now... what to do to fill another day is the question. The answer? That'll come when the day is done. For right now, I'm dressed, had coffee and smoke, and am wearing the fleece. 71F on the fan. Morning. - Météo says it's 18 with Humidex of 23. - 14.25 LAWN IS DONE! 11.30-14.00 FOR THAT. AND... MY CLOTHES ARE WASHED AND DRIED TOO! Threw them in when she left... at about 9.30. - And now, having “pasta salad smiches”. Went to the store with my last 10$. Is this shit any good? No. And the salad is probably old. But, I'm hungry and it'll kill the appetite (and probably me too). - 14.46 She rolls in all la-dee-dah, no mention of the lawn-work, tee-hee, la-la-la, and announces “Ms. Hallie and I are going swimming.” Yep... FUCK YOU, QUNT! And have a nice day. - Good. I get to shower, shave, wash more clothes. - 15.04 HOLY SHIT! SHE SAID THANK YOU! AND COMPLIMENTED THE WORK! I'M ... in need of a shower.... She's off to swimming at Carmi. - 16.38 AND I'M SHOWERED! Put on different jeans (32 waist... tight) since my others are still damp. But what delight. Shaved and teeth brushed too. How clean I am. - Mme. is still at the lake. Probably will be until about 17.00 or later. Oh well. And the sun is coming through the clouds... HOT again. - I've got some work to do on the iPod so I won't be out in it. I've had my share of “fresh” for the day anyway. - Truth is, I'm ready to go to bed. - 21.02 Lamb-chop, boiled potato, beets, beans for DINNER! FOOD! She DID come in at about 18.00. Imagine that. - Anyway, I'm ready to call it a day, as the shits above stomp on her ceiling. Oh well. - Tomorrow I'll be out of here by about 11.00. Best I can hope for is an un-eventful drive. - 21.40 V-ton and tele time... AT FUCKING LONG LAST!

Mon.30.Jul: 0.01 Well... a v-ton and a short one. I'm not ready for sleep yet but the battery on the lap-top's almost gone so... Tele was great tonight. The crisps were filling as was one tooth on the bottom right. So I may as well give sleep a try. At least it's a chilled night. The “August” I've always know as “the North” is upon us. I WANT TO GO HOME! - 6.58 and my eyes opened at 6.00! Alarms set for 7, 7.30 and 8.00. Yeah, sure, and I'll be ready for a nap at 11.00. Shit! - 7.10 in from smoke. And Mme. just waking. Oblivious. She was at the sink, I tapped on the window to wave “Good morning” and no response. OK. - Anyway, I had v-ton and crisps last night, and a light v-ton after. This morning's no different, really... ick. But, with the exception of one minor spasm, I slept through. - I don't know why I'm anxious about this trip this morning. I should be thrilled. New vehicle. “My” truck. New tyres. Getting it all rolling. Getting out of and away from this town. But, it's the distance, the driving, the everything. And it's all just so much stupidity. It's not like I've not been any-where in years. I've already been to Cowansville. And that was on the old tyres. I even went with the busted tie-rod. It's all just being stupid. Worst part of this day is going to be how to fill the time whilst they change the tyres. Probably more than an hour. Alas. Silly. That's all it is... silly. - Well? On with the day. Let's see how it rolls. - Oh, one thing this morning: When, yesterday, I mentioned having to move the truck from in front of the garage on Friday, the 3rd, Mme. said she thinks the fire-wood will be delivered on Monday, the 6th. I'd put the date on the calendar when she told me of it. I've got it down for Friday. Seriously, this bull-shit of ME, having to move the truck... that fucking wood can't be delivered round the back because it'll have to be hauled round the house to the garage! And the truck can't be at the garage or the wood will have to be dumped in the drive, and too fucking close to the truck, if it's parked where it is now. “And I'm not having that.” as 'twas said. I suppose it's all as I just thought this morning, for what-ever reason: Nothing will be done FOR you here, you need to do things for yourself. They don't notice such shit, unless it suits their purpose of making others appear stupid or other-wise negative. So? So... roll with it, doing what you need to do and that's that. - 12.23 Made it. But the 2 in Colchester is TORN UP! I'd thought of coming through Winooski, thought of coming through Jericho, came down the 89 to exit 17, as suggested by Goofukkingle. Well, I left the house at about 11.15 and so, with all considered, not too bad. And the day is sunny, the temperature rather nice. Windows down, iPod singing (I HAVE TO FIX THAT RADIO), and here we are... about to entre "FLAT-ASS BROKE". But, hopefully, the new tyres will make the rolling more comfortable. My back went stiff on the drive... nothing but nerves is all it is. Listening for noises, holding the wheel. This is good though. Gives me the time to "adjust" me to the truck. Anyway... I realised, I've only been to Essex Jct. in Autumn/Winter! And how truly, TRULY ODD: 2 "MEMORIES" of the place: Gerry Greenland and PJ dePotter! Fuck! I've no "attachments" to this shit-hole state, never resided in Essex Jct., but I have "memories" of it. Gerry got transferred to IBM back in... '75 or so, and HATED it (familiar)! "Dead, desolate, dark". (It's "cute" today. Neat, clean, tidy, flowers, fountain.) PJ... not 6 months after I arrived, I dropped him at the train... to N.M. And here I am, almost 7 years after arrival in Shitholia... sitting, waiting for new tyres on a pick-up truck. WHAT A FUCK! - Thankfully there's WiFi. But... probably well over an hour to try staying awake. It's gonna be tough. I've got head-ache, am a touch hungry, tired and... oh well. Time to amuse. - 19.37 ALL DONE! BABY'S GOT NOO SHOOZ! - I got back to the house at about 16.00... Mme. still in. It was a rather lovely ride/drive back though. I stopped only for gas (20$ and 6gals!) and headed across the 15 toward... JERICHO! The 15 was so familiar, full of memories, some good, others horrific. I can't help but think, today, that my “entrance” to this shit-hole state should have served to tell me “GET THE FUCK OUT!” The road and country-side are pleasant enough, but the experiences, the “people” (using the term loosely). Sad as it was, to drive along by the mountain, so beautiful, and to think of the horrors of Shelburne and Jericho. At one point, I had the quickly passing thought to drop in on Fran but, by now, it being 7 years, she's probably completely blind and out of her mind. So when I saw “Raceway Rd”, both ends, I kept driving. - There's a traffic circle where the 108 meets the 15. Tight. Smaller than normal. But there it is. All full of flowers. Driving along that was flash-back too. The drives from Jericho to Richford in a Ford that was on its way under, tyres as shiny bald as they could be. “Check Engine” light on all the while. The promises that things would be attended, and the threats of all sorts of back-lash. Again, beautiful country-side... marred with the shit-stains. - But the drive was a pure delight, where the truck is concerned. The new tyres HAVE made such a difference. Now, all I need do is repair the radio. It takes the iPod AND it takes CDs burned on the computer. But the speakers are shit. I'll get to that when the days are a bit cooler and I'm “awake”. - Today though, the temperatures were kind and the humidity low, making for the drive with windows open a delight. Truly. - I'm still in a bit of shock. Almost 900$ MORE into this truck. Almost 1100 the first time. Almost 900 more. I got it for 2995 (3k). Now, it's cost me almost 5k. But... it runs and I hope to have it for the rest of my life (and I hope that's not too much longer). - And so, at about 17.00, Mme. took off. I cooked the bit of spaghetti that I had in the larder-box in the room, added left-over rice, a bit of tuna, mayo and that was “meal”. Sufficient. - Took a nap for about an hour, until 19.15 and now, at 20.39, we've all gone for a walk, snax were served and my laundry is in the dryer. I'm about ready for a very quick shower (not that I “need” on but) and to get into bed! HOPEFULLY I'll be asleep before mid-night tonight. I'm EXHAUSTED! - PS: There's a wasp nest in the corner of the door to the barn. I doused it with spray. Wasps, being of no particular good to people. It was built quite quickly! I don't recall having seen it yesterday! But, the nest and the wood-frame are soaked with spray. The end. - 21.33 AND THE TWATS ARE STILL UP THERE, BANGING ABOUT ON THE FLOORS! - Laundry's done. House here, is dark and settled. I'm in bed and tired. V-ton poured. The day is done. No shower tonight. There's tomorrow. - Now, I worry about that fucking pig-bastard, dikwad, damaging my tyres. This town's not beyond that, and he's just stupid enough to try. Well... pay-back will be absolute Hell, should he try. - Time for tele. - Oh... I got the “lease” (19) printed... for my license renewal. That's next on the list of “MUST DO”. As much as I hate to... in Shitholia. -

Tue.31.Jul: 7.34 Lights went out at 23.12 last night and at about 6.00 this morning, I woke... pee'ed, Mimou came in to say “WAKE UP!” and I went back for a doze until about 7.00. I guess one might say I got a good night's sleep. One might say... but I could use a few more... days... of “good” sleep. There never seems to be “enough”. - But the doors are open, breakfast, served and there's a slight drizzle falling from a grey sky. Aside from the thumping above, trash will be trash, the morning commences calmly, as it does on “these” days. - Imagine, another month gone by. And tomorrow, “THAT” month begins. Last night I noticed that the next income arrives on “the anniversary”. 30 years. Where did those 30 years go? I might ask “What have I to show for all that time?” but the truth of the matter is: Well... I'm just about as far to the North as one can get before slipping across an international border, and I have a truck, a nice-looking truck that I do like, and it's legal, running and is being maintained. I can step out in to a large yard, in a small town where there isn't the constant drone of traffic and such. If I could manage to close the people here, out of my life and mind, it would make it all almost perfect. Perhaps I can do that, eventually. But for now, I suppose it's not all so bad. No “all”... “so bad”. - Agenda? I really must get to try to fix that radio in the truck today. Surely, it can't be all that complicated. Replacement is 160$ and although I probably could toddle out, even now, and get one, I'd rather hold the money on hand, to add to the necessary expenses to come. So, if I have the tools needed to get at it, and since it appears the day will be cool enough to spend some time in the truck, there's item number 1 on the “hit list”. There are plants that could be moved about, lilies to transplant, those daisies in the packs. The floors/house will have to be done. And I DO must have to ring Ev. - Still trying to figure how to get to see her in August. Still trying to figure how to see Dennis (if that's at all possible) in August. Still trying to figure how to get out of and away from here... In August would be nice, happy birthday to me. Still trying... - And then there's the matter of the license renewal, which is tantamount to all the other items. No license, no “seeing”. I don't want it to be associated with this town. It's rather like the “Newburgh” thing: association will curse it all. Silly? Perhaps. But that's how I feel about it. - Well, there are bits and things and items to occupy the time and mind. But for right this moment... Morning loo and the rest will follow. - End of month. Almost end of the “Summer”. Flowers making a mad dash to bloom. Vegetables in the garden suddenly bursting. Everything rushes for life at this time of the year here. And a few of us... rush, head-on, into death. “There is no 'Hell' after this. After this, there is only 'Peace'.” 30 years. Seems almost impossible. -14.40 OK. So I took the radio out of the dash, and all the wires appear to be attached properly. A little loose, so I tightened the connections. It appears to be working fine, save the front driver-side speaker. But that's probably connected to the leads that are under the back seat. OK. We shall see. Then, put a bit of rust inhibitor on the wheel-wells in the back where there's a bit of rust. That done... in for 2 tuna-mayo sandwiches because I was hungry and then... a NAP! For about an hour. because...
white spots in my vision as I tried watching a bit of television. I'm having what I can only call, another “episodic day”. Not feeling all too well, light-headed, difficulty focusing on the eye-sight, and “butterflies” in the chest. I wonder... Afib? Something's not “correct”. It would figure though: Get the truck, a life-time dream, and have it taken from me... trapped, unable to drive. It really would just figure... my life-time. Not enough sleep last night? Too much sleep? Stress? Anxieties? What-ever. Another day of “episode”. Well, it's been a couple of weeks since the last time. May as well get used to it happening (and hope it doesn't happen whilst driving). I suppose it might be worth noting that the left side of my neck is a bit stiff as well, and some-what uncomfortable in the teeth. Same thing as those previous “episodic” days. Blockage? Who knows? Who cares? Just so long as I can make my “road trip”. After that... “the last trip”... at this rate. - Stitched the work jeans together. Did a shitty job of it too. But it's done. - I'd like to do something more round here, like planting those daisies. But I just don't have what it takes to do it. It's another hot and rather humid day out there. - Also, I'm hoping it's just my imagination, but the front driver-side wheel appears “off”. It doesn't align with the other 3 wheels. As I say, it might be my imagination. It might be my eye-sight. But the next time I'm on the road, I'll know better and for certain. If there was something wrong with that wheel, I'm certain the guys would have noticed it yesterday and said something about it. I'm probably just worrying about shit that isn't even there. “No there, there.” as they say these days. - Well... this day is slipping by. Time does that. - Waiting to see if Mark shows today. I'll have to move the plants if he does. - And then... I think of Friday... IF the fire-wood arrives. Two cords to be stacked in the garage. THAT will either just get done or put me under and out. I have to laugh thinking of dropping dead whilst stacking wood. Yeah... “lazy bastard” and no gratitude for anything. And Mme.'s words “I don't deserve that.” Maybe you DO. Maybe... What-ever will be will be. - 21.55 and so much for being in bed by 21.00 AGAIN! - BUT... the lease for Church is signed and ready. AND...going through all the old papers (that I really should put some-where safer than in this place) I happened across a little manilla pocket with... 3 PAPER Canadian 5s and a plastic one! 20$ there. And change... about 8$CAD! Imagine that! “Never actually broke”. Not that I'd spend any of it. AND... A U.S. 2$ BILL! SO! AGAIN... Never actually broke. - And I'm showered, fresh out and already sweating like a pig at a luau (or how-ever it's spelt)(fukkit). The little ones are in their room. The trash up-stairs is pounding about. The fan registers 77F. The night is still. And next Wednesday, I'm supposing I'll go get my new license for 2 years... at 32$ I believe (that's what it has on their web-site but... this being Shitholia). - “Meal” consisted of left-over beets, beans and a frank cut into it, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, horseradish and pickle relish... cold. It was too damned hot to eat again. After, since I found I had about 18$ on the food card, I got ice cream and a tonic and a small bag of crisps. Ate the ice cream already. A small container. - This evening, I also planted some more daisies beside the back stoop where the mower doesn't reach. If noticed, it probably won't be appreciated. But I don't care. - Mark came by this evening and when I asked when he was going to sand the sills he said, this evening. I told him to let me know when so I could close the door to this room and I told him why. Oddly, he left, came back, left again, came back and said he wasn't going to work this evening... and left. Oh well... None of my concern, really. I just want to know so I can close the door and move my plants. That's all. If that offends, fukkemall. - And so now, with papers at the ready for the license and the night rolled down, my clothes are in the wash and it's time to wrap it all up. Tomorrow is trash day... OH! That I could put it “ALL” out to be carted away... but that would leave an empty state. Not necessarily a bad idea. - My stomach's churning a bit now. Don't know why. Ice cream, perhaps. My “episodic” woozies are slightly subsided. But... there's always tomorrow for more. - I need to try the truck at night, check the lights, especially on the dash.... especially before the road trip! Perhaps tomorrow evening, once round the block or something. Odd.... I have the truck, like driving it, but I've no-where I want to go to now. (If I had the money, I'd go to NY... to keep an eye on rentals. One day. As I thought tonight: I waited and the truck is here. I'll wait... “home” will be coming too. Patience.) -
23.21 AND THE SHITS UP-STAIRS ARE STILL STOMPING ON THE FLOOR!!! What a shame Mme. isn't here. But then again... sleeping pills and a bottle of wine... she wouldn't hear it anyway.